


Save Our Souls

by girlsandanimeboys



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Alternate Universe - College/University, Demon!Dean, M/M, Strippers & Strip Clubs
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-11-26
Updated: 2014-04-05
Packaged: 2018-01-02 16:22:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 23,609
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1058981
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/girlsandanimeboys/pseuds/girlsandanimeboys
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It all started with a strip club. Cas walked into a strip club to get some clarity about his sexuality and is thrust out with the dreadful feeling that his life is about to change forever.<br/>Cas is thrown into a world of secret powers, demons, angels, a bar/angel hideout, and a half-demon named Dean who may just be the love of his life. And in the midst of all this, there's a lesson to be learned.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Cas

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! I'll keep this short since I hate long author's notes.
> 
> This is wouldn't exist without my co-author and best friend Bee (who at the time does not have an account) and my beautiful beta Colleen! After months of texting and writing and planning the first chapter is finally finished! Please leave comments and I hope you enjoy!
> 
> P.S. I don't own any of the characters.

 

 _What am I doing?_ Cas thought. He was walking down a sidewalk. It wasn’t too late at night, but  late enough that college students were roaming the town, out and ready to party. Cas prayed to God that he didn’t see anyone he knows.

 

Because it would make front page news if someone found out that nerdy Cas Novak was headed to a strip club. To hire a male stripper.

 

But that’s actually a much longer story.

 

+++

 

Cas transferred to Concordia University for his third year in college. The school had a much better theology program and it was farther away from his hometown, so he’d have a better excuse for not coming home on holidays and breaks. His aunt was beginning to accuse of not wanting to come home. He has enough tact to try to not let her know that.

 

When Cas was little, about three or four, his parents died. They weren’t married, and Cas distinctly remembered his dad disappearing for lengths at a time. But he knew they loved each other. No one knows why it happened or who did, just that one night there was a lot of noise coming from Cas’s house and a neighbor came to make sure everyone was okay. He heard his aunt describing it on one anniversary of his parents’s death when he was 12.

 

“I’ll never forget what the police said to me,” his aunt said quietly to someone on the phone. “Furniture was knocked all over the place. And not just lamps, couches and cabinets. They said my sister’s--my sister’s throat was slit, clean and simple. But her boyfriend was stabbed in the chest. They said murder weapon was still inside him. It was like a sword, like some fancy knife. And the boy, his room door was open and his was still fast asleep. Imagine sleeping while you’re parents are being knocked about! And the worst part, the worst part, was the smell. Smelled like sulfur even when I came to collect his things…” Cas tiptoed back to his room.

 

Sometimes he has dreams. It’s always dark and fuzzy around the edges, but there’s a dark figure towering over him. Hands wrap around his neck and he hears a raspy whisper say, “Your grace will be mine N--”

 

It always ends there.

 

He doesn’t quite remember what living with his parents was like, but he knew it had to be better than living with his ultra-conservative aunt. He spent most of his life feeling boxed in, used to suppressing any wrong emotions or feelings he might have. At his high school graduation he cried when he finally got his diploma. Not because he was going to miss his friends(none to speak of), or his teachers, or even high school. It was because he was finally getting out of this hellhole, and he couldn’t wait.

 

Summer went by fast and his aunt surprised him with a Prius. “Don’t do anything God wouldn’t approve of,” she said, helping pack the last of his bags. Cas waved one last time before speeding off towards the beltway. He rolled the window down so he could taste the freedom. He never tasted anything so sweet.

 

+++

 

 

 

 The first college he attended was quaint and the people were pleasant enough and the theology program was great. He got really close with his teacher, Ms. Milton (“please Castiel call me Anna”) and she was his role model.

 

He was worried about her home life though. Some days Ms.Milton would come to class a little weary, her voice strained. She didn't look a day over 30, but Cas could tell something was stressing her out.

 

There was one day where Cas was helping Ms.Milton clean up the classroom. "I don't like leaving maintenance with a mess. Their job is hard enough as it is."

 

Suddenly all the lights exploded and the room shook.

 

"It's an earthquake!" he shouted. A piercing noise filled the air. "Ms.Milton, get down!"

 

Cas can remember her calm face. "No, Castiel." she said.

 

The room was still shaking, so much that her bookshelf fell over. Cas began to make his way towards her.

 

The last thing he can remember is the regret in Ms.Milton's eyes. The last thing he hears is, "I'm sorry, Castiel." before everything turns black.

 

When he wakes up he's in the infirmary and Ms.Milton is there.

 

"Ms.Milton!" He tries to sit up but the sudden movement makes his head hurt.

 

"You took quite a fall. That earthquake was a rough one."

 

"What happened?"

 

"You tried to walk to me and you fell and hit your head on a desk. I dragged you to a corner far away from all the windows and waited until till the earthquake passed to take you to the nurse." She said this calmly, but Cas doesn't remember it that way.

 

"But--"

 

"I think you should transfer to another school."

 

"What?"

 

"Specifically, Concordia University. It has the best theology program in the country."

 

"Then why have I never heard of it?"

 

"It's...very hard to get into. Almost impossible."

 

"And you believe I can get in?"

 

"Yes, because I've called the dean, and he'd love to have you."

 

Cas just gapes at her. "I'm sorry, Ms.--Anna, but I can't accept that offer. You're the only one I want to teach me about religion."

 

Anna smiled. "So if I left, you'd leave too?"

 

Cas thinks that over for a second. "Well, depends on your replacement."

 

Anna laughs. "Oh Castiel, you're the best student I ever had."

 

Cas smiles. "Thank you, Anna."

 

Anna stands up and kisses his forehead. "Be brave, Cas."

 

She walks out without a sound.

 

 

 +++ 

 

When Cas woke up the next morning, he headed to the theology classroom to talk to Anna. There was a large crowd around Anna’s classroom. When he pushed his way to the front he finally saw what all the commotion is about.

 

The classroom’s huge windows, the windows with a beautiful view of campus, were now reduced to shards on the grounds. The desks were upended, and the room was in ruins. Cas’s favorite classroom was now reduced to nothing.

 

The dean pushed through. “Move along, move along, nothing to see here.”

 

When Cas saw the dean he turned to him. “Where’s Ms.Milton?” he asked.

 

The dean scrunched his eyebrows. “Didn’t she tell you? Professor Milton gave her two week’s notice. Though if she had anything to do with this vandalism I’m going to have…”

 

But Cas couldn’t hear him anymore. All he could hear in his head is, _Be brave, Cas._

 

 

+++

 

 

That was how he ended up transferring to Concordia University. The dean of admissions admitted him with surprisingly little persuasion.

 

“Professor Milton gave you a glowing recommendation, Castiel. We’d love to have you.”

 

He rented a tiny studio apartment and began taking theology classes. He wasn’t surprised that the theology classes at Concordia were really, really good. The teacher wasn’t as good as Anna though. He sometimes he’d put his own input into the lesson (just like Anna used to, like they were actually there). But overall it was a good fit.

 

And oddly enough, he felt like he belonged there, more than he had ever felt anywhere else.

 

+++

 

College still took a lot out of him, and he’d be lost without without his morning coffee. There’s a cafe on his way to class that’s not to far from campus called The Garrison.

 

 

It was at this cafe that Cas met his two best--and only-- friends.

 

Cas walked into The Garrison one rainy morning. His trenchcoat(which he got for a cheap price at the thrift store)was wet and he closed his umbrella as he stepped in the shop.Immediately he was immersed by the of herbs and the chatter of other patrons. He made his up the counter, already tasting the coffee on his lips.

 

“Excuse me, I would like a--”

 

“Black coffee with a splash of cream.”The barista says, placing the cup of hot steaming coffee in front of him.

 

The barista wasn’t that tall, had curly brown hair, and hazel eyes filled with mischief. He knew that his name was Gabriel from looking at his name tag every day.

 

“Oh. Thank you.” He pulled out his wallet, but Gabriel waved him off.

 

“On the house.”

 

“Really?” He had been coming to The Garrison for months, and not once did Gabriel offer him coffee on the house. In fact, this was the longest conversation they ever had.

 

“Really. On one condition.”

 

Now Cas was intrigued. “What?”

 

“Tell me your name.”

 

What an odd request, he thought. Suddenly he felt a little cautious. He was about to throw a five dollar bill on the counter and rush out.

 

Gabriel must have sensed it because he said, “Relax. I’m not asking you for your phone number or anything, just a name.”

 

“Castiel,” he said slowly.

 

“Now that wasn’t so hard, was it? I’m Gabriel.”

 

“I know. I can read a name tag.” Cas said wryly.

 

At first Cas thought he sounded a little snarky but it caused Gabriel to let out loud laugh that made some of the other customers look up.

 

“I like you, Castiel.” And those were words he had not heard spoken to him a lot.

 

A customer behind him rudely cleared his throat. “Hey asshole I’m coming. Don’t you see me talking to someone?” said Gabriel.

 

“That’s okay. I really need to get to class.” said Cas.

 

“Alright, see you around Cas.” Cas waved a hand in goodbye.

 

That should have been that, but strangely it wasn’t.

 

Whenever Cas came by to get his coffee, he and Gabriel talked. He was enjoying their talks so much he started coming in the evenings to do homework. He told Gabriel about his interests, his major, and about how weird his college is.

 

“I know, I go to the same school.” said Gabriel.

 

“Really?” Cas said. He assumed he would have noticed him if he saw him around campus.

 

“Why is that so surprising? My only goal in life isn’t just to make coffee, you know.”

 

Cas blushed. “I know, I just--What are you majoring in?” he asked.

 

“Psychology. It’s interesting to see what makes you humans tick.”

 

Cas laughed. “‘You humans?’ What are you then?”

 

Cas swore he saw something flicker Gabriel’s eyes. Then he smirked. “I’m an alien from outer space and I’ve come to take you to the mothership!”

 

Cas rolled his eyes. Classic Gabe.

 

+++

 

Cas overslept one morning and had to go to class without his coffee. So the rest of the day he was kind of in a pissy mood, especially since he banged into the corner of a desk and he forgot to type up his Lit paper,which was due today. He could have cried with joy when his last class ended.

 

He pushed open the door to The Garrison, relieved to hear the familiar bell ring as he walked. He walked up to the counter, ready to tell Gabe that okay, today he will have a pumpkin spiced latte, when he saw that the man around the counter was most definitely not Gabe.

 

“Who are you?” he said bluntly.

 

The man’s head snapped up. “Welcome to The Garrison, may I take your order?”

 

Cas blinked. Gabriel was really the only employee, and he never said things like that.

 

“Um, may I recommend the um--the pumpkin seasoned latte. I’ve been told it’s a ‘knockout’.”

 

Pumpkin seasoned? Whoever this guy was, he was the weirdest person Cas had ever met. “Yes, I’ll take a pumpkin spiced latte please.”

 

The guy looked like he was going to have a heart attack. “One latte, coming right up. These are fairly easy to make, right? I am sure I can complete this task without error.”

 

Before Cas could try and take back his order, Gabriel burst out from the back room door.

 

“Zeke! You didn’t break anything, did you?”

 

Then Gabe saw Cas. “Cas! Where were you this morning?”

 

“I overslept,” he said, eyes still on the strange man. Gabriel followed his gaze.

 

“Oh, where are my manners? Cas, this is Ezekiel, my brother. Zeke this is my friend, Cas.”

 

Friends. He’s never had a friend before, so he felt uncomfortable putting that label on their relationship without confirmation. Now, he knows, the feeling is mutual.

 

Ezekiel sticks his hand out. “Nice to meet you, Cas.”

 

Cas shook his hand. “It’s nice to meet you, too.”

 

“Loosen up a little Zeke,” he hears Gabriel say under his breath.

 

“I never knew you had a brother.” Cas said. He always imagined Gabriel as the perpetual only child, spoiled with toys and sweets.

 

“Yeah well, I do. He’s going to be staying with me for while and helping me around the shop.”

 

Ezekiel looks at Gabe. “That is correct.”

 

It was silent.

 

“So...did I hear you say you wanted a pumpkin spiced latte?” said Gabriel.

 

The rest is history.

 

+++

 

 

 “Gabe, how did you know you were…”

 

He was over at Gabe and Zeke’s apartment, playing video games. Cas never really played them growing up which Gabriel had declared a travesty. Zeke was tending to the coffee shop. After staying with Gabriel for several months Zeke finally had enough hands-on experience to manage the on his own.

 

“How did I know I was what?” Gabe said, furiously pressing down the buttons on the controller.

 

Cas was known for his bluntness, but he was having trouble getting the word out. “Gay,” he finally said after moment’s pause. “How did you know you were gay?”

 

“Well, I thought about having a dick in my ass. Most guys would scream, but--”

 

“Gabriel, please.” he said softly.

 

Gabriel paused the game. “What’s up, Cas?”

 

Cas has never had as much freedom as he has here, at college. He is constantly seeing attractive, funny, smart people. But the thing that scares him is that it’s the men, that garner his attention more than women. He was always good at suppressing those...feelings he used to have in high school, but now it was becoming something he can’t ignore.

 

“Maybe it’s just a phase I’m going through but I’m starting to find girls...not particularly attractive. I don’t know what that means, so I thought I’d ask the only person I can trust with this information.”

 

Gabe smiled. “Well, you came to the right place. Look Cas, just because you thought about a guy or two doesn’t make you gay. At the most you might just be bisexual.”

 

“How would I know?”

 

“Everybody experiments, at least once. I say you do it the way I did it: go to a strip club. The male strippers are guaranteed to be hot, and it’s the perfect test. Get a lap dance, see how you feel. If you’re uncomfortable maybe guys aren’t your thing. If you have a boner, then maybe we can talk some more.”

 

+++

 

That’s how Cas ended up at the entrance of Hell’s Angels, the nearest strip club he could find. Gabriel hadn’t given him anymore instructions, just to go to a strip club. He seemed to think the rest was self-explanatory.

 

He found himself sitting on a plush couch while women in highly provocative clothing strutted around the club. He sits there quietly, unsure of what to do. Finally, he catches the eye of one stripper and she sashays over.

 

“Hey handsome, you look a little lost.” the stripper says in a sultry voice. Cas finds the stripper attractive, sure. But she doesn’t make him feel...anything. She does nothing for him.

 

“What’s your name?” she asks. Before Cas can respond she says, “You look like a Clarence.”

 

“My name is--”

 

“Since you’re so handsome Clarence, I’ll tell you my real name. It’s Meg.”

 

She begins to straddle him. He says, in the nicest way possible, “I request a male stripper.”

 

She blinks and says, “Oh. Well, I never liked taking it up in the ass anyway. I guess it’s Righteous’s lucky day.” She climbs off him. “Wait here, Clarence.”

 

She struts away, catching the eyes of some of the other patrons. Cas is ready to walk away and figure out his sexuality on his own terms, and then _he_ comes out.

 

Sun tanned tan skin, washboard abs, and lips that would drive a nun to sin. He’s got a bow tie around his neck, black dress pants, and sharp black shoes. That’s all. Also, he’s heading straight for Cas.

 

“You Clarence?” the god asks.

 

Cas can’t even answer. The absence of arousal Meg gave him is the absolute opposite of what Righteous stirs up inside him.

 

“I’ll take that as a yes.” Dean smirks. “Meg told you were sexy, but hot damn. I almost want to take you home.” The thought of going home with a man like Dean makes his cock twitch. He can’t even remember what girls look like. Dean has captivated him so thoroughly, and he can tell Gabriel he has his answer.

 

He’s not sure though, that he’ll ever meet a man that can compare to Righteous.

 

Righteous doesn’t waste time and straddles him immediately. “It’s so hot in here. Let me take off your coat, Clarence.”

 

That’s not my name, Cas thinks. But he’s barely able to think a coherent thought under Righteous’s dark gaze. He knows this is just a job to him, but he can’t help but imagine that something more is going on between them.

 

Righteous starts grinding down onto his cock, running his hands all over Cas’s body. When their eyes meet he sees desperation and a tinge of regret underneath the dark lust.

 

“You’re beautiful,” he says. Righteous stops grinding, and his hands freeze over his chest. He stares at him with wide eyes.

 

Cas blushes. This is the first thing he said since Righteous walked over and stole his heterosexuality and it was a dumb compliment. Of course Righteous knows he’s beautiful. How could a god like him not know?

 

“Clarence,” he says softly. “That’s not even your name is it?”

 

Cas shakes his head. He opens his mouth to tell him, but Righteous covers his mouth. “No, don’t tell me. I don’t deserve to know.”

 

Cas furrows his eyebrows in confusion. Righteous looks sad, regretful. Cas wonders what he would look like smiling a real, genuine smile.

 

“Clarence, I’m sorry.” Righteous says. For what, Cas can’t imagine.

 

He wraps his hand around Cas jugular, warm fingers pressing into his throat. He closes his eyes and Cas just stares up at this beautiful creature, having the sudden urge to kiss Righteous.

 

Cas holds his breath, waiting to see what he’ll do next.

 

Righteous opens one eye. He closes his eyes and presses down harder, almost choking Cas. “Um, Righteous? It’s getting a little hard to breathe.”

 

Righteous’s eyes open in childlike surprise. “Fuck,” he says quietly. “Holy shit.” Just when Cas starts to wonder what Righteous was planning to do to him he hears a noise on the other side of the room.

 

A female stripper has a hand around a man’s neck in a similar fashion to Righteous’s. Except this time, the man’s head tilts back and his mouth falls open. A light, flowy substance comes out of him, and he slumps forward, dead.

 

The stripper smiles. “Alastair! Hurry while it’s still good!”

 

Black smoke rushes into the room and disappears down the dead man’s throat. Instantly the man’s eyes open. “Thanks, Ruby. Hopefully this one lasts longer than the other one.”

 

Fear replaces his arousal. Before Cas can scream or run, Righteous covers his mouth. “I have to get you out of here.”

 

Righteous’s eyes dart around the room. “Cas, follow my lead.”

 

How do you know my name? Cas thinks as he’s being pulled up. Righteous grabs his hand and entwined their fingers, causing Cas to startle. “Just go with it,” Righteous whispers.

 

As Righteous stirs them to wherever they’re going, Meg sees and walks over. “Where are you two going?” she asks.

 

“The back room. Clarence and me really hit it off.”

 

Meg stares at Righteous, and Righteous stares back. They have a silent conversation. Then Meg says, “All right! Try not to make too much of a mess.”

 

He pulls Cas into a back door. What was that all about? Cas wonders. Though, seeing as he just saw a man being resurrected, that can’t be the weirdest thing he’s witnessed.

 

Righteous pulls him to the right, walks a few steps and then pulls him roughly back towards the left. “She thinks I’m going to fuck you before I take your soul.” Righteous says plainly.

 

“What?” His erection flagged under the sheer terror of watching a man die, and only the thought of the man’s gaping mouth stops him from getting hard from the thought of Dean’s words.

 

“What the hell was that? That man was dead and he--the smoke--he came back to life! This isn’t normal--”

 

Righteous chuckles darkly. “You’re right, Cas. It’s not.”

 

They came to a door. Righteous opened it and pushed him out. Cas turned around, surprised.

 

“Run. Run far away from here and don’t come back. Don’t tell anyone what you’ve seen, in fact, just forget you saw anything.”

 

“But--”

 

“I’m serious. Don’t bother telling the police because they can’t help and when my boss finds out she will find and kill you.”

 

There’s silence between them for a few minutes. Then Righteous turns to leave.

 

“Wait!” Cas says. “Tell me your name. I want to know your real name.”

 

Righteous smiles. It’s a small smile, but it’s real and it looks breathtaking on him. “Dean.” he says. Then the door shuts, leaving Cas in the cold.

 

Cas runs, quite literally, for his life. Dean, he thinks.

 

_Dean._

 

 

 

 

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is Bee's first chapter and (in my unbiased opinion) I think it's really good. Our writing styles are a little different, so if you're wondering why it's written in a different format from the first chapter, that's why. I'm not sure if I specified this but I write Cas/Zeke and Bee writes Dean/Sam chapters.  
> And I watched the latest ep as I'm sure many of you have, but in my mind Zeke is a sweet, loyal, wonderful angel and nothing else will change my mind. Bee says, "I know Zeke was never actually in the show but this is our AU and we can do what we want." So I guess you can think of Zeke as an original character.

 

There are quite a few things in Dean Winchester’s life that he was just not proud of. Things he struggled to accept everyday, things he would be ashamed to admit to others. But these things are a part of his life, and Dean was helpless to change them. He was born in a hole and it had become his grave.

     Dean is a stripper. Now, don't judge him so quickly. Dean currently pays two (expensive) tuitions for the only college that accepted him. One for himself, and one for his baby brother, Sammy, who chose to attend this little dinky school in a little dinky town when he could have easily gotten into a fancy med school. Sam knew Dean couldn't pay for that. And he knew that Dean couldn't live without his only brother. Perhaps that's another thing Dean is not proud of.

     Dean struggles to support his brother. Mentally, financially, Dean struggles. He tries to balance being a guardian and being a brother. There are times when one side gets too heavy and both sides end up on the floor. It was more stress than any twenty three year old should handle, but Dean didn't have a choice. His parents... Well his parents were not a factor any longer. His mother died soon after giving birth to Sam, a fact he has never forgiven himself for. And his father was gone. Maybe dead, but Dean couldn't care less. So the responsibility now falls to Dean. So, he picks up his burdens off the floor, paints on a smile, or a smirk, and convinces Sam that he is alright. And that's one more thing that Dean is ashamed of.

     Dean is a liar. He lies about being a stripper because he is embarrassed and ashamed. He lies to his teachers and his red headed boss. The only one who makes him feel even a little guilty is his brother. He lied to his own brother. He even tries to distance himself from the truth because he is dirty, disgusting, and he does not want to believe it. He must lie, because the truth would lose him the only family he has left. Which brings us to the last thing Dean is not proud of.

     Dean is a demon. Well, technically a half demon, but he is becoming more and more demonic by the day. Because he uses his power, his job, and his good looks to steal people's _souls_ and _sell them_ for cold, hard cash, to his boss Abaddon. He doesn't know what she wants them for, didn't even ask. He was paid an obscene amount of money for each soul (enough to make his mouth drop) and made nearly half that in tips every night. He felt an overwhelming sense of guilt at first. But now, now it was simply part of his life. Something he did-had to do- to survive. There was nothing else he could do.

 

+++

 

       It was a stressful day for Dean when he met Meg. Rather, he had always known her. She was the one in his Communications class that only showed up half the time. He admired her don't-give-a-shit attitude and they had had a few short conversations when class ended. But the day the officially met and became 'friends', if you could call them that, was about a week before the first tuition payment was due.

     At the time, Dean had been working with an old friend of his father’s, the only one Dean didn't hate. Bobby Singer was more of a father to Dean than John ever was, and Dean really did enjoy working as an assistant mechanic at Singer's Salvage Yard. But Bobby wasn't what you'd call particularly well off, and, while he paid Dean as much as he could, it wasn't enough to pay the bills.

      So, when the time came, Dean was more than a little stressed. And, although he usually found her personality amusing, Dean really didn't feel like dealing with Meg's snarky and sarcastic comments. Which is why Dean was shocked at what she said.

      "Well, you look like crap."

       Dean scoffed. "Gee, thanks. You look like rainbows and butterflies."

      In truth, Meg looked about as exhausted as Dean felt. She swung her feet down from the desk she had propped them up on during the lecture, as turned to face Dean head on.

     "I heard you pay for your tuition yourself-"

     "Where did you hear that?" Dean interrupted, jabbing a finger in his less than subtle classmate.

     "I have my sources. Anyway, _as I was saying_ I get it. You must be stressed out over money. Well, what if I were to say I could get you a job. A great job, that uses all of your," Meg looked Dean up and down, making Dean feel sufficiently uncomfortable, " _Assets."_

     The next thing Dean knew, he was walking up to a sleazy looking building, preparing to do the most uncomfortable interview of his life.  

 

+++

     "Hmmm..."

     Dean tried to sit still as a red head dressed in fishnets- _only_ fishnets- looked him up and down.

      "Well, you look fine with your clothes on..." The woman started, "but what about with them off?"

Dean was at a loss for words. Before he could open his mouth to respond, the woman was speaking again.

“But tell me, why would a little _half_ -demon want a dark, dirty job like this?”

Dean shrugged. “I heard the pay was good. And I’m desperate.”

She looked him up and down. “Meg did put in a good word for you and you are handsome enough to bring some new customers. But listen to me very closely. I can see the darkness in your soul. In fact, it’s almost like you _don’t_ have a soul, which I like. But if you even think about telling someone or trying to get “help” I will rip your body limb from limb and feed them to my hellhounds and send your soul to the deepest, darkest trenches of hell. Do you understand me?”

“What the hell kind of place is this?” Dean shouted.

The woman just smiled. “Well, it’s not a strip club. You still interested?”

 

Dean nodded. Her red lips widened in a smirk. It did not put Dean at ease.

 

“Good. Now take off your shirt.”

      It was only a lost shirt and a poke to Dean's chest before the woman who introduced herself as Abaddon told him he was hired.

+++

      And that's how Dean ended up sneaking out, lying to Sam, and slipping farther into the life of a demon. That is, until that one life-changing day.

     Dean was about to head out to work, when he saw Sam typing up some report for school. Dean took a moment to take in the completely normal scene. It was what he always wanted for Sam. A completely normal life. They never spoke to each other about their demon parentage, or their own demonic urges. Dean would never let Sam know how far he had already slipped.

       "Dean!" Dean flinched and hit his hand against the doorframe that he was leaning on. Sam snickered

       "Ow! Dude!"

       "What? I had been calling you for a while and you were just standing there staring. It was creepy."

       Dean scowled. "I'm headed to work, bitch. Don't wait up."

       "Yeah, well, I wouldn't if I could. I mean, I have the graveyard shift at work tonight."

       "Again?" Dean started, frowning, "Sam, no offense, but you look like crap."

       "Oh, thanks." Sam rolled his eyes.

      "Admit it, you need sleep. Just get one of those lame coworkers of yours take your shift."

      Sam snapped his laptop closed, and turned to face Dean head on.

     "Listen, they are good people. And I'm not going to push a four hour midnight shift onto them three hours before it starts."

      A few tense seconds later, Dean realizes he really has to get going. So he just sighs, nods and walks out the front door. Soon he will be pulling his baby into his reserved parking space behind Hell’s Angels, where he works, and taking the unassuming looking duffel bag that holds his skimpy outfit out of his trunk. But before he can make it through the back door, Meg walks out, not ashamed at all in her leather underwear and stilt-like heels.

       "You've got a client."

       "Great," Dean says, "You got a name?"

       "Clarence." Meg, or Dutchess to her customers, smirked a bit. Dean just nodded and hurried inside, changing quickly. Not that it ever look long to change, considering the nature of his outfit. Compared to some of the girls, Abaddon included, Dean was classy. His pants had more cloth than some of the other girls entire outfits. The dress pants were still too tight for his comfort, but still. His costume was completed by a pair of nice dress shoes and a black bow tie.

     After Dean put the rest of his dignity on a high shelf, he went looking for Clarence. There were plenty of sleazy men in the club, but they all came for the whor- women. It was only when Dean saw a quiet man sitting alone on a large sofa did he believe he found his customer.

     "You Clarence?"

     The man looked at Dean and Dean suppresses his gasp. Those baby blues nearly left him speechless, not that their owner was any chattier. His eyes were wide, and his face tilted upright. Dean even though the nervous fidgeting with the awful trench coat Clarence was wearing was endearing. After a few awkward moments of staring, Dean cleared his throat.

     "I'll take that as a yes, then," Dean tried his hardest to smirk. "Meg told me you were sexy, but hot _damn._ I almost want to take you home."

     Dean would not usually flirt this blatantly- oh who is he kidding, he would, but he still felt a bit wrong. So he slipped into his normal routine, something that always got the men a little grabby and allowed him to at least have a reason to not feel bad over taking their souls.

     "It’s so hot in here. Let me take off your coat, Clarence."

     Dean straddled Clarence on the sofa and slipped a hand under his beige coat. His torso was warm and Dean could feel a quickened heartbeat, but Clarence kept his hands to himself. Dean knew it wouldn't make things any easier for himself even if Clarence did become one of those sleazy men, but he began to grind down on him anyway. But it does nothing. Clarence is still polite as ever, but Dean doesn't stop. He can _feel_ how much his customer likes this, and he wants to make him as happy as he can before he...

     Dean’s hands hesitate for one moment and his eyes connect with those baby blues that left him speechless before. And he can tell that this will never be easy for him. Perhaps he is clinging to the last of his humanity, but Dean feels that it's more than that. No one has ever given him as much trouble as Clarence. He doesn't deserve what he is going to get. He's so polite, even to his stripper. He-

     "You're beautiful."

     Dean stopped moving completely. Beautiful? He'd never been called that before. But even worse, the one statement made his heart flutter like a teenage girl. This sweet man, Clarence... No, that's not right. It doesn't fit.

     "Clarence," Dean whispers, "That's not even your name, is it?"

     When the customer shakes his head and opens his mouth, Dean knows he wants to tell him his name. But Dean can't know, he's sure it would break him, so he places a hand over the open mouth.

     "No, don't tell me. I don't deserve to know."

     Dean doesn't know what's gotten into himself. This customer is making him feel more guilty than he felt even at the beginning of his escapades. He makes his heart pound and his... lower regions warmer. Dean smiles sadly, because he is taking too long and the time has come.

     "Clarence, I'm sorry." And before Dean can see the confusion in Clarence-not-Clarence's face, he closes his eyes and wraps his hand around his neck, just below the chin bone.

     And Dean waits. This is always the jar part, but now it feels brutal. Clarence is different, makes him feel different, worse. His soul is so clean, pure, Dean can feel it. And, Clarence is definitely not his name, but it does start with a 'C', that he can tell... It felt as if it is just on the tip of his tongue when Dean received a large shock. He... He couldn't tell what his name was, not easily.

     He opened his eyes warily and put a bit more pressure on his customers jugular. Nothing. No not nothing. He got a name: Castiel

     "Uhm, Righteous, it's getting a little hard to breath."

     "Fuck. Holy shit." Dean didn't know what was going on. He saw the confusion in Clarence- no, Castiel's face, and he saw the look of horror in his eyes when he saw what Dean knew to be Alastair claiming a vessel. Fear entered quickly into Dean’s mind when he realized just how much danger Castiel could be in. He was powerful, and it is likely that Dean could take his soul and sell it for triple what he usually got, but the thought sickened Dean. When Cas opened his mouth to scream, Dean placed his hand over it once more.

     "I have to get you out of here." Grabbing Cas by the hand and yanking him off the sofa, Dean couldn't help but feel a slight giddy feeling. "Cas, follow my lead."

     "Just go with it," Dean said as he intertwined their fingers, but he still felt Cas stiffen under the touch. As Dean steers Cas to the back door, he is stopped when Dutchess asks them where they are going. Saying some obscure thing that can be taken sexually, Meg grants them the way to the back of the club.

     "What was that about?" Dean hears this in his head, though he knows it wasn't said aloud and yanks Castiel toward the back entrance.

     "She thinks I'm going to fuck you, before I take your soul."

     "What?! What the hell was that? That man was dead and he- the smoke- he came back to life! This isn't normal!"

     Dean made a noise between a scoff and a chuckle. It came out hard and humorless.

     "You're right, Cas. It's not."

     Dean took a second to try and figure out what to do next. He could tell Meg that Cas's body didn't feel like home, and he had to destroy it and go back to his original. But then what to do with Cas?

     "Run. Run far away from here and don't come back. Don't tell anyone what you've seen, in fact, forget you saw anything."

     Dean really meant to say 'forget about me' but the words wouldn't come out. And when Cas tried to protest, he would have none of it.

     "I'm serious. Don't bother telling the police because they can't help, and when my boss finds out, she will find and kill you."

     A minute goes by in silence. Dean wants Cas to leave, to get away from this life, but he can't seem to break away himself. Finally, he turns to go back inside, only because people, mainly Meg, will begin to suspect him. Before he makes it all the way inside, Cas calls out to him.

     "Wait! Tell me your name! I want to know your real name."

     Dean turns around to look at this insane man. He just saw a man get killed, nearly got killed himself, and still, he cares enough to ask for a name. Dean can't hide his smile.

      "Dean."

     And then he closes the door between this man who is far, _far_ out of his league. Before he can make it very far, Dean realizes that they left the trench coat laying near the sofa. As he goes to scoop it up, he is stopped by the Dutchess herself.

     "Meg," Dean says, smiling in a sickly sweet way.

     "Dean," The same smile is returned. " Can _half_ demons even take a vessel?"

     The way she said 'half' caused Dean to tense up for a moment, but he was as smooth at lying to Meg as he was to his brother.

     "I thought I'd try it out," Dean says with a shrug, "It didn't work, and I had to dispose of the body."

     There is a pregnant silence while Meg tries to determine if Dean is lying to her before she shrugs and walks off in the direction of her own station. Dean looks down and realizes that he is holding the coat like a lifeline. But when he thinks about it's owner, and if he should ever see him again, his heart flutters.

     Castiel Novak. The name rolls around in Deans head for a bit. It sounds familiar, almost as if he's heard it before.

     Dean hears a soft flutter as the coat floats back to the ground, but he can't seem to care. Because he HAS heard that name before, and now he knows why.

     They go to the same college.

     Where they are bound to run into each other at some point. The thought causes Dean to blush.

     Shit. What does he do now?

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update. Midterms were this week and I was really trying to focus on studying last week. But now it's Christmas break and I couldn't be happier! I really don't like how this chapter turned out. I can't put my finger on what I don't like, I just know it's not my best writing. Colleen didn't proofread this chapter so all mistakes are my own. As always, please leave a review!

_Beep! Beep! Beep!_ Cas slaps the off button on the alarm clock. _Another day_ , he thinks. He gets out of bed and heads to the shower.

After getting dressed he went into into his tiny kitchen to make a pot of crappy coffee with his crappy coffee machine that he picked up at a yard sale. He’s guessing today is going to be a bad day, just like it’s been for the past few weeks since--

_The Incident._

He’s thought of little else but his encounter for weeks and it’s starting to affect him more than he likes. He’s been avoiding The Garrison for fear that Gabriel and Zeke will pick up on his strange moods (Gabe can read him like an open book) and ask him about it. He’s not the best liar, and he doesn’t want to drag them into it.

As he leaves the apartment he tries not to think about dream he had--been having--for days. It’s always just a jumble of images. Black smoke, the reek of sulphur, a hooded figure reaching out for him, and warm hands. He always wakes up with the vision of soft green eyes. It scares him shitless.

He walks to school, passing The Garrison and fighting the burning desire to get _his_ coffee and spill everything to his friends. Today, he only falters a little bit before continuing walking, eyes forward.

 _One day, it’ll be easier._ But whether he’s talking about ignoring the only friends he’s ever had or knowing there is a part of the world that kills without even thinking twice, he doesn’t know.

+++

In class Cas draws a mouth with black smoke coming out of it. He shades in the smoke. Those creatures were evil, careless. They killed that man and felt no remorse. The stripper even smiled. What kind of creatures were they? Where does the black smoke come from? What do they want with the blue, shimmery light that came from the man? These questions and more are always swirling through his head and he has no one to ask.

Well, except maybe _one_ person.

He stops shading the black smoke and begins to draw familiar eyes. He’s no Da Vinci, but as he sketches the eyes he can’t help but think about how beautiful they were in person.

Yes, Righteous ( _Dean,_ he chastises himself in his mind) was on his mind just as much as all of the other things. Despite the circumstances in which they met, Cas only has good impressions of Dean.

Dean wasn’t like the other creatures, he could tell. When the black smoke came rushing into the the room and down that man’s throat, the other demons looked either uncaring or pleased. Dean looked horrified. Then he risked his life to get him out.

He is still confused as to how Dean knew his name. Concordia is a relatively small school, so small he practically knows everyone’s name. Besides, if he saw a man as handsome as Dean walking around campus he’d make it his life’s mission to find out his name. He’s trying not to think of Dean in that manner, however. He did try to kill him, after all.

But he looked so _sorry_ about it. The haunted, regretful look in his eyes as he wrapped his warm hand around Cas’s neck...Cas is sure that if Dean had the choice he wouldn’t have tried to hurt him, to hurt anybody. So why does he?

Reluctantly, Cas admits to himself that he has more questions about Dean than he does about about The Incident altogether. It makes him want to see Dean again, but how? He’s certain Dean doesn’t go to his school, and Dean warned him not to return to the strip club. _Dean is a lost cause,_ he tries to convince himself. He’s had no luck so far.

He snaps back to reality and he hears chairs scraping and bags rustling. Sighing, he grabs his messenger bag and leaves.

He heads out to the tree on campus he usually sits under to eat lunch. The tree offers an abundant amount of shade, sturdy back support, and one of the last places Cas and relax and unwind.

Which is why he’s surprised when he sees a figure sitting under it.

People usually come and talk to him, maybe sit next to him for a few minutes, but no one ever sits under his tree. Cas is in a bad mood, and it gets worse when he sees some guy sitting under his spot. He strides over, ready to give the stranger hell when the man turns his head and Cas loses the ability to speak.

Righteous-- _Dean_ \--takes one look at him and says, “Oh, fuck me.”

Cas has been thinking all week about what to say to Dean if he ever saw him again. He impressed that he manages to get out the most mature response to seeing the man who’s been the star of his dreams most nights.

“We need to talk.” Cas deadpans.

Dean sighs. “Yeah, I know. But not here. Everybody’s already looking at us.”

It’s true. When he looks around everyone staring them, but peculiarly more at Dean. Shoving that observation aside he says, “Meet me at The Garrison at nine.”

Dean smiles. “It’s a date.” Cas flushes and Dean gets up and walks away, looking back at Cas one last time.

Cas feels pretty good about the way he handled that situation until he realizes something and his stomach drops.

He hasn’t been to The Garrison in weeks. Gabriel and Zeke are going to give him hell for that, and he’s certain Gabe is going to embarrass him once he sees Dean. But if Cas thinks about it, he’s got bigger fish to fry than a little embarrassment.

+++

He gets to The Garrison at 8:45 so he has sometime to explain himself before Dean comes. The coffee shop is closing down and Gabe is pouring some coffee into a cup. When he sees Cas he looks up and stares, overflowing the cup with coffee and spilling some on the floor.

He rushes forward to help Gabe but Gabe holds up a hand. “Sorry, customers aren’t allowed back here.”

Cas flinches. He deserves that, but it still hurts. Zeke comes out from the back room saying, “We need to order more cream, Gabri--” cutting off abruptly when he sees Cas.

“Cas! It’s been a while. How have you been?” he asks politely.

It’s odd how Gabe falls back to his defensive side while Zeke becomes uncomfortably polite. It makes Cas feel really guilty for cutting contact with them. “Gabriel, Zeke, I can explain.”

“Explain what?” Gabriel says harshly. “Explain why you’ve been ignoring us for weeks? Explain why just haven’t been taking any of our calls?”

Cas winces. “I’m...sorry. I’ve been going through something the past few weeks and I cut myself off from _everyone_ , not just you. I shouldn’t have, I’m sorry.”

“What is it, Cas? You can trust us.” Zeke reassures him.

 _They’re your friends,_ he tells himself. _They should know._

Cas looks at both of them evenly. “Okay. But you cannot tell anyone.”

They look at each other and nod. “Tell us.” says Gabriel.

  
“Well it all started at the strip club--” Cas starts.

Then he hears the door creak behind him. He turns around and there’s Dean in a plaid red shirt and black jeans. He looks gorgeous. He walks in smiling but the smile slowly drops off his face.

Cas checks his watch. “You’re early.” he says simply.

When he looks up he’s shocked at how Dean’s face turned from extremely pleasant to molten fury. “Really, Cas? Angels? Someone should’ve told you ambushes are out of style.”

“What?” He tries to say more but then Gabriel and Zeke are pulling him back and pulling large knives out. All of a sudden Zeke materializes behind Dean with the knife to his throat. “What do you want with Castiel, demon?”

“None of your fucking business!” Dean shouts. Zeke presses the knife closer to Dean’s throat.

“Stop, stop! You’re hurting him!” Cas tries to run towards Dean but Gabriel holds him back with inhuman strength.

“What are you?” Cas whispers. Gabriel just looks straight ahead.

“Who sent you? Do not lie to me or I will kill you.” Zeke says in a menacing tone.

“I did! I thought this was the only place we could talk in private. I didn’t know you two were like him.” Cas informs them.

“Like him? We are nothing like this demon piece of shit.” Gabe spits.

“You’re not so pretty yourself, feathers.” Dean says.

Cas pulls away forcefully and walks swiftly to Dean and Zeke. “Let him go.” he says firmly. Cas glares at Zeke until he releases.

Dean looks at Cas, eyes fill with shock and, surprisingly, amusement. “Thanks, Cas.”

“Are you alright?” he says quietly.

Dean grins. “I’m fine.”

Cas nods and turns to Gabe and Zeke with a cold look in his eyes. “You’re not human.” he says flatly.

“No,” Zeke replies. “Castiel we can explain--”

Cas holds up a hand. “Don’t. I may have avoided you, but I didn’t lie. I never betrayed your trust.”

“Cas, you don’t understand--” Gabe starts.

“What else have you been lying to me about?”

Just at that moment a huge, floppy haired man came out from the back room. “Zeke I think we need more coffee cups--” the man cuts off abruptly. At first Cas thinks he’s staring at him, but then he follows the man’s gaze to Dean, who is looking at the man with an outraged expression.

_“Sam?”_

+++

“You have a brother.” Cas states. They’re walking down the pathway, matching each other’s pace.

“Yeah, Sam.” Dean replies. “Though I didn’t know he was going to pull a stunt like this.”

Dean’s reaction to seeing his brother was almost comical. His face turned red and Cas literally had to hold him down to keep him from pouncing. Dean was shouting too, and Dean, more than anyone Cas had ever met, had the mouth of a sailor who had seen the depths of hell(no pun intended).

Among other obscenities the clearest thing he said was, “If you fuckers messed with Sammy I’ll shove my foot so far up your ass--”

“Dean, stop! They didn’t kidnap me or anything. I’m...working here.” The last part was barely whispered.

Cas saw Zeke watching Sam. “Sam, do you know this demon?”

Sam blushed. “Yeah, this is my brother, Dean. I’m sorry if he attacked you or anything. I didn’t think he’d follow me to work.”

Dean sputtered. “You think I--Jesus Christ-- _followed you to work?_ Get over yourself, Samantha. I’m not here for you, I didn’t even know you’ve been lying to me for all these weeks.”

 _“I’ve been lying?_ Dean, I’ve talked to Bobby and I know you’re not spending all those late night shifts at his place.”

Cas’s furrowed his eyebrows. “Does Sam not know you’re a stripper?”

Silence.

“Well, he does now.” said Gabriel, who’s been quiet during this whole exchange. “Let’s get back to what you want with Cas.”

“It’s none of your business, Gabriel.” Cas’s anger flared up again. Just when he thought he had someone to confide in and trust they  _lied_ to him.

“Look Cas, I’m sorry that we’d lied to you. But--”

“I don’t care. Dean and I are leaving. If you’re really sorry, don’t follow us.” Cas turned around and walked out the door. He didn’t look back to see if Dean was following him.

Out of the corner of his eyes he sees Gabriel hold Zeke back and hears Sam say, “Thank god you’re not a prostitute…”

+++

“I can only imagine the shit I’m going to get back home now,” Dean sighs. “Especially since now my brother knows I’m a stripper.” Dean glares at him.

Cas looks down. “I didn’t know you were keeping it a secret. It’s nothing to be ashamed of, you know. You don’t even really strip.”

Dean snorts. “I think my brother would rather think I was stripper than what I actually do.” When Cas looks at him he has a grim look in his eyes. He looks away.

They stop at a park bench. Not the most private place during the day but at night it was near desolate, except for the occasional chirp of a cricket. They both sit down on the bench, quiet for a moment.

Then Dean turns to him. “What do you want to know, Cas?”

Cas stares at him. He’s thought about all the questions he’s been wanting to ask Dean for weeks. But now that he’s here and he’s looking at Dean all he can say is, “Why?”

Dean understood him, though. He launched into his life story about why he has to work there and how he got the job and how much he hates killing the patrons who come in.

“Most of the people who come in are sleazeballs anyway but I still hate doing this to them. I hate my job.”

When Dean is done, Cas just looks at him for a long time. Dean chuckles bitterly. “I’m a monster. I’ve seen that look before. It’s how the patrons look at me as I take their souls. Like I’m a monster.”

Cas shakes his head. “No, Dean, I’m not judging you. I’m just astounded that your boss has found such an ingenious way to murder people. How has the police not found out?”

“We’ve got demons in all positions of power. CEOs, police stations, even Congress. Anytime the cops get suspicious, Lilith and Azazel take care of it.”

“Other demons?”

Dean nods. “They don’t strip they just check in with Abaddon once in a while. I’ve only seen them twice.”

“Still, the people who come to Hell’s Angels have no one who would noticed their disappearance?”

“Lilith takes care of it. There was one incident involving a nosy cop. No one talks about it though.”

Cas doesn’t have to ask what happened. “Basically what you’re saying is that supernatural creatures actually exist. Gabe and Zeke, for example, are angels and you and your brother are half demons, Since you’re only _half_ -demon you can’t do all the stuff that full demons can like possess a human or throw people around but you can take souls. Which is how you get paid by pretending to be a male stripper. But what does your boss do with the souls?”

Dean shrugs. “We have a don’t ask, don’t tell policy at the club. Besides, the pay is enough to pretend not to care.”

“What do you do with the bodies?” Cas asks.

“I don’t know, it’s not exactly my department. I think they burn them. Any more questions, Curious George?”

“Just one more.” Cas doesn’t know why, but his heart starts beating a little faster. “Why couldn’t you take my soul?”

Dean’s eyes widen. “You tell me. I knew you weren’t human when I recognized you but--”

“Wait, what? I’m not...a demon or angel or anything. I’m just a human.” Cas says with a hint of  
doubt.

Dean shakes his head. “Sorry to burst your bubble Cas but Concordia isn’t a normal school. “There are vampires, werewolves, prophets, basically everything you thought was fake. And if you go to Concordia, that means you’re something too.”

Cas gapes at him. “Are you telling I’ve going to this school for four months and I haven’t noticed any vampires on campus?”

Dean scrunches his eyebrows. “I know during classes we’re not allowed to use our powers or anything but outside of classes anything goes. Wraiths come and talk to you all the time.”

“I’ve never noticed anything. I don’t even know what I am. What’s wrong with me?” Cas looks at Dean, meeting his eyes for the first time since he started asking questions.

Dean puts a hand on his shoulder, and Cas instinctively leans into the touch. “Cas I don’t know what the hell you are but I think I know who does.”

Cas knows what he’s going to say before he says it. He says it for him.

“Gabriel and Zeke.”

+++

Cas unlocks the door to his apartment. He turns on the light and is only half-surprised to see Gabe and Zeke standing in the middle of his living room.

“How long have you been here?” he asks.

“We just got here. Gabriel and I wanted to let you finish your conversation.”

Cas hangs up his coat in the closet. “So you were listening to my conversation?”

Gabriel sighs. “We do what we have to, Cas. And if you listened long enough, you’d understand that.”

Cas approaches them. “I’m listening.”

“We’ve been appointed to protect you. Moving you to Concordia guaranteed eighty percent of your safety. Zeke and I are the twenty percent.”

Zeke picks up where Gabriel left off. “We were told under strict instructions to hide our true identities to you. In fact, you weren’t supposed to know any of this. How you met that demon without our notice is beyond me, though I don’t think it was under my watch.” Zeke finishes with a sharp glance at Gabe.

“There aren’t as many people on my ass every day as you, Ezekiel, but I still do my job as well as the next angel. I’ve even watched Cas take a piss just to--”

“You what?”

“--make sure he was safe. Fuck you if you think otherwise.”

Gabriel and Zeke stared at each other with looks so intense Cas decided to cut in.

“Why do you need to protect me? I’m not that special, I’m just a...human.” he says weakly. Even though the truth is becoming more and more apparent, Cas feebly clings on to the belief that he’s merely human.

They both look at him pitifully. “Cas,” Gabe says simply. He prepared himself for the final nail in the coffin.

“You’re not human.”

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Sorry for keeping you waiting! It's all on me, sorry...Also I really want to thank you for reading!"
> 
> -Bee

     Dean has had a rough day. He overslept, missed his first class, and failed a quiz. Oh, and then there is the whole, "running into the one guy who knows his secret and he really really doesn't want to see" thing. That kinda sucked. When Dean turned and saw the customer from the night before, Castiel, he isn't really sure what he said. But he's sure it probably wasn't pretty. And how Cas managed to remain so calm was beyond him. It was obvious that Dean wouldn't be able to avoid giving 'The Talk' to this one, so as soon as Cas gave him the chance, Dean agreed to explain all he could when and where Cas chose. Who would've thought that even THAT could go down the toilet.

     When he arrived at the arranged meeting place, Dean was really pretty happy to see Castiel look at him with those blue eyes again. But the happy, giddy feeling was lost the moment Dean looked up and saw those feathered asshats. Really, _angels?_ Castiel set him up, brought him to fucking angels? Guess you can't trust anyone, no matter _how_ polite to their strippers they are. And yet, he was wrong again. Castiel was oblivious as fuck, but he didn't set him up, and Dean can't help but find that amusing.

     Dean really, truly thought that seeing Cas, running into angels, and nearly being killed would be the only things that went wrong that day. And then _he_ walks in.

     " _Sammy?_ "

     And suddenly holes start to make themselves apparent in Deans memory. Like, why the fuck didn't he know for _which_ coffee shop Sam worked, and _why_ wouldn't Sam _quit_ the moment he realized that fucking angels worked there? In fact, why would Sam even _take_ a job in an angel hideout? He can see them just as easily as Dean can.

     Which just brought Dean to one conclusion. Sam _knew_ about the angels, knew about the danger, and avoided telling Dean. Dean could hear Cas next to him, arguing with the shorter angel, but he doesn't hear any words. Dean vaguely recalls shouting obscenities, but who can tell? Dean is still upset with his brother, so he fixes a hard glare towards Sam, and tries to calm down before he bursts. Sam looks embarrassed, obviously uncomfortable with the situation he has found himself in. Dean opens his mouth to say something, anything to his baby brother, but before he can, Cas tells everyone that the two of them are leaving and begins to walk out of The Garrison. Dean barks a "We will talk about this later" over his shoulder and follows Castiel out.

+++

     Dean is feeling slightly better after his walk with Cas, but as he turns the corner onto his street and realizes that Sam will be home by now, his anger begins to bubble once again. How could his brother keep such an important fact about his work a secret... The angry thought faded as Dean realized how hypocritical he was. But, still. Sam is his baby brother, and Dean _would_  protect him at all costs. Besides, Sam knew the truth now. Well, half the truth...

     Dean knew that his suspicions about his brothers whereabouts were correct the moment he went to open the door. First off, the door was unlocked, which was a big clue, but there was also this _tension_ in the air that was as tangible as the ground on which the Winchesters walked.

     Dean took a step into his home and took a deep breath. Taking a few more steps, Dean turned into the open doorway of the living room. Sure enough, his brother was home, sitting on the couch with a beer in hand. The moment Dean stepped into the room, Sam put the beer down and they started their odd Winchester showdown with their eyes. After neither one backed down for a few moments, Sam finally spoke.

     "What the hell, man?" It took everything Dean had to keep his jaw from hitting the ground.

     "You're asking _me_ what the hell? _I'm_  not the one working with fucking _angels_!!"

     "Yeah, because _you're_ job is so perfect," Sam scoffed, "A stripper, huh? I figured it was something of the sort, but I had my money on prostitute or drug dealer"

     "You think it's _easy_ paying two tuitions? You think I _want_ to be doing what I'm doing? I _have_ to." Dean shot back at his brother, trying to ignore the guilt that pushed its way onto Sams face.

     "I know, Dean, you work harder than anyone I've ever met, just so that you and I can live a happy and _normal_ life. But I want to help out too!"

     "So you go and work for angels, people who naturally hate us? Yeah, that's _real_ helpful, thanks Sammy." The dripping sarcasm did nothing to change the stubborn look on Sams face.

     "Ezekiel and Gabriel are good people, Dean. Not all angels are assholes. They treat me well even though I know that they have to have figured out what I am."

     "Yeah, they seemed real nice when they were _holding a knife to my throat._ Just because they didn't smite you on sight doesn't make them 'good people', Sammy." Sam looks at Dean before shaking his head.

      "You are such a hypocrite, Dean." Ouch. That one hurt. "What about your friend, the one that went all bonkers? I know he isn't human. And yet you think _I'm_ keeping dangerous company!"

     "Cas is different, Sam, he's..." The words die down before Dean finishes because he doesn't know _what_ Cas is. Unconsciously, Dean puts his hand into his pocket, touching the paper that holds the phone number Castiel had scribbled down quickly before they went their separate ways. Unfortunately, Sam noticed the hesitation and folded his arms.

     "Look, Dean. I know you just want what's best for me. But you don't know what _is_ best for me. You can't possibly know. And because I am technically a legal adult, you can't stop me either. So suck it up and figure out just what _you_ have gotten yourself into."

     What Dean really didn't need at that moment was a stupid younger brother who was so much fucking better at arguing than he was. But that's what he had and he had to deal with it. As much as he hated to admit it, Dean knew that Sam had a very valid point. He didn't know what Cas was, but there was no way that Dean's simple, yet not so normal life could ever be the same. Dean sighed and relaxed his shoulders.

     "What do you suggest I do, bitch?"

     "Try talking to him, jerk." Sam replied without even a moment of hesitation. Dean chuckled, glad that the tension was gone, even just for this moment, and he made his way over to the couch that Sam was sitting on. Plopping down, Dean grabbed the deserted beer and took a swig. After a scoff from Sam and a few minutes that were passed in a comfortable silence, Dean pulled the phone number out of his pocket and stood.

     'Now or never,' thought Dean, as he pulled out his phone and typed in the number and walked into his room. As the phone rang, Dean closed his door and made his way over to his bed. Cas picked up after the fifth ring.

     "Hello, Dean."

     "Hey, Cas. How'd ya know it was me?" Dean replied, smiling. He couldn't help it, he may have only known Cas for a few days, but he was already important to the half-demon.

     "Very few people call me. Even fewer now that I attend Concordia. It was logical that you would be the one calling."

      "Well, alright then," Dean chuckled, before his smile faltered. "Hey, listen. I need to ask you-"

     "Dean," Cas interrupted, "I know what you want to ask. But I am uncomfortable talking about these things over the phone. I-"

     There was a sigh and a moment of hesitation that left Dean nervous.

     "I am afraid I no longer believe in the security of my conversations. Especially over the phone."

     "Because of your angel buddies? I get that." Dean hesitated for a moment before continuing. "So... You wanna meet up somewhere so we can talk? I mean, we could grab some grub?"

     Dean didn't know when he had stood up, or when he began pacing. He wasn't nervous or anything. It's not like he had asked Cas out on a date or anything. Not at all. The fact that this was certainly _not a date_ did not stop Dean's heart from jumping into his throat when Cas answered with a "Sure, Dean."

     "Great. So I'll, uh, I'll see you tomorrow. Around six? I know this great bar, with the best burgers in town."

     "Sounds great, Dean. I'll see you tomorrow."

     After he hung up, Dean walked over to his closet. But he did _not_ pick out at least three different outfits for the next night, because it was _not_ a date, and therefore he didn't have to look nice. And, after (finally) choosing an outfit, Dean most definitely did _not_ spend the entire night lying in bed, thinking about the way Cas said his name.

 

+++

 

     Ezekiel wipes down the counter. It’s almost time for the shop to open, and he wants the shop to look good. Even though this coffee shop is a front, just an excuse close to be Concordia grounds and by extension Cas, doesn’t mean he doesn’t take pride in it. He can see what drew Gabriel to live his life on Earth.

 

     He remembers getting the assignment to watch over Cas. “You won’t be doing this alone,” his superior had said. “I’ve reached out to our brother Gabriel and he says he’s been hoping for some help. Humans are very unpredictable.”

 

Ezekiel is still confused. “Gabriel? But I thought Gabriel--”

 

“Gabriel didn’t Fall. He merely chose to live on Earth. He comes back, now and again. He is also a believer in our cause and has been doing an excellent job keeping track of Castiel. You are to work in his coffee shop when he is following Castiel, and when you are tracking Castiel you are expected to keep detailed reports.”

 

“I am to work in his _what_?”

 

     The woman before him smiled, just a little bit. “I think this will do you some good, Ezekiel. Earth is a fragile planet, but the humans are so interesting to observe. Their cultures, their morals. I think you’ll especially like Castiel,” she said, with a fondness in her eyes he is surprised to see. “He has a way of making you care about his well-being without even trying.”

 

“If you care for him so much, Anael, why don’t you go instead of me?” he asked.

 

     The look in her eyes turned nostalgic. “I tried to protect him, just like his mother asked but I’m too...I have a target on my back and I knew that when I first tried to protect him and it almost got him killed. I will not do that again. But I have faith that you will do better. Do you accept this assignment?”

 

Ezekiel nodded. “I accept. I will protect him with my life if I have to.”

 

     Several months later and Ezekiel realizes that Anael was right. Now that he interacts with Cas, sees him on a daily basis, it’s hard not to care about what happens to him. Now, more than ever, he truly feels that if it he had to he would sacrifice his life for Cas. But Cas didn’t do much to make watching him much of a challenge. He just went to school, came to shop, went to the library, and occasionally play video games( _Humans,_ he thinks. _Always finding new ways to keep busy_ ). Cas was uncomplicated. Sometimes Gabriel and him didn’t even bother watching Cas, because they knew he was study for a test in his tiny apartment or taking a walk.

 

Then Cas became a little more complicated.

 

     The bell rings signifying a customer. Zeke snaps out of his reverie and realizes he’s been scrubbing the same spot for who knows how long. He looks up and his breath catches in his throat. It’s Sam.

 

“Hello, Sam. What are you doing here so early?” he says curtly. Yesterday’s events were still in his mind.

 

“Look, Zeke, I am so sorry. I didn’t know my brother was coming to meet your friend. But you can trust Dean. He’s like me.” Sam looks at him with warm hazel eyes, and he has a sudden impulse to believe whatever he says.

 

Zeke sighs. “I do trust you, Sam. But I’ve seen inside your brother, and it isn’t good. His soul is dark, very dark.”

 

Sam’s eyes darken. “He’s still a good person.” he says fiercely.

 

He opens and closes his mouth. “I’m just trying to protect Cas,” he finishes lamely.

 

Sam smiles, and Zeke feels... _something_ in his chest. “Don’t worry, I’m sure Dean will take care of him.”

 

     Before he could ask what Sam meant, Sam throws his messenger bag in the back and says, “I’m going to go get a headstart with inventory.” Then heads to the back room.

 

Sam, surprisingly, is another thing that’s been on his mind lately. He hasn’t been on Earth long, but he’s already learned so much. Like that you have to change clothes regularly or you can’t be too honest with humans or they’ll get offended. Most of all, he’s starting to have _feelings_. Before Cas might occasionally say or do something amusing or Gabriel would say something crude and he would smile or maybe even laugh.

 

But with Sam, he does those things a lot more. At first he didn’t trust Sam or agree with Gabriel’s hiring of him.

 

He remembers Gabriel saying that they could use a third person around here to spice things up, remembers making the “Help Wanted” sign and Cas saying how he would apply if he didn’t already have a job at the bookstore. He remembers all the dull humans that applied and that it was raining. Then a man with floppy brown hair walked in.

 

He was drenched head to toe and breathing heavy. “I heard you were offering a job--” Then he looked up.

 

Zeke already had an angel blade to his throat. “I can sense the demon in you. What is your business here?”

 

The man struggled against him. “W--Wait! I’m not here to hurt anybody! I didn’t even know this place was owned by angels. I’m not a part of that whole angel-demon crap, I was just looking for a job.”

 

     Zeke turned him around with the angel blade still pointed at the man. The fear in his voice almost made Zeke believe him, but demons are known for their deceptive tongues. He looked into this man’s eyes, his soul and saw something that made him gasp.

 

     His soul is lined with darkness, his demon nature. But as for the soul itself, it is bright. Almost as bright as a human’s. He can see that Sam is not cold or monstrous like a demon. The most confusing thing about The man’s soul is the dark smoke shrouding it. It signifies deep unhappiness and despair, so much so that the demon nature that has been buried by goodness is close to overtaking him and maybe almost has. It has him so intrigued that he only snapped out of his trance when Gabriel bursts out the back room saying, “What’s going on?”

 

Gabriel took one look at Sam but instead of taking out an angel blade like Ezekiel had, he just smiled. “A half-demon, huh? And a very human one at that. I have to say I haven’t seen a lot of your kind.

 

“Yeah, well, I don’t make it a habit of finding angels.” The man replies.

 

Gabriel laughs again and the man chuckles a little. Zeke feels a strong flash of anger, not at the man but at Gabriel. He doesn’t know why.

 

Gabriel glanced over at him. “Zeke, put your blade down. This guy isn’t going to hurt us. What’s your name, by the way?”

 

The man’s shoulders relaxed, and he straightened up out of his defensive position. “Sam. Sam Winchester.”

 

Gabriel took his hand and shook it. “Well, _Sam,_ I don’t even need an interview, you’ve got the job!”

 

Sam’s eyes widened. “Really?”

 

Gabriel shrugged. “Between you and me, all the other applicants sucked and you held your own against my brother, which takes courage. Plus, you don’t seem like a bad kid.”

 

Sam just stared at him, dumbstruck. “I can’t thank you enough, um--”

 

“Gabriel. And this is my brother, Ezekiel. Don’t let the angel blade fool you, he’s very friendly.”

 

Zeke watched the scene, outraged. He wanted to believe that it was because his brother was casually talking to a half-demon creature, but he hated the way that Gabriel was making Sam smile and laugh. It was an odd feeling and even now, he still doesn’t know how to describe it.

 

“Now Sam, there are two conditions that you have to agree to before you start working here.” Gabriel said.

 

Sam nodded. “Whatever it is, I can take it.” He sounded desperate for this job. It confused Ezekiel. There was nothing glamorous about working in a coffee shop, so why did Sam want to so bad?

 

“One, you must take care of inventory. You know, placing orders for supplies counting how much stuff we have and telling us if we need more. Two, you only work night shifts.”

 

Sam scrunched his eyebrows. “I can understand the inventory but only night shifts? Why?”

 

“If it bothers you, I can find someone else who’s--”

 

“No! I mean, I accept your conditions.”

 

Gabriel’s smile almost looked predatory. “Excellent.” They shook hands again. Sam left with a big smile on his face.

 

“Brother, what do you think you’re doing?” Zeke asked sharply.

 

Gabriel was still looking at the door. “Spicing things up,” he said. “Did you _see_ him?”

 

“I felt the darkness in him.”

 

Gabriel rolled his eyes. “Come on, Zeke, loosen up a little! He’s pretty human to me. Plus, it would be nice to have some eye candy around here. Did you see his ass? Hot damn.”

 

Zeke felt several emotions swell up in him. He shoved them all down. “What if Cas sees him? Anael would be furious if we let anything of demonic origin near him.”

 

Gabriel scoffs. “I’m not an idiot. Cas only comes during the day. During the night shift he’s either studying or sleeping. They’ll never meet.”

 

Zeke just stared at him.

 

“Aw, don’t look at me like that, baby bro,” he said, moving to put an arm around Zeke. “I’m sure you and Sam will get along.”

 

     It took some time, but eventually Sam and Zeke did warm up to each other. Sam was funny, smart, and witty. Zeke got learn to new information about Sam, like that he was studying to become a lawyer and that he actually likes to eat salad and go running. Sam made him happy, and it’s a feeling that loves experiencing. To repay Sam for giving him this feeling, Zeke gave himself another assignment.

 

He was going to clear the dark smoke from Sam’s soul. There was something holding him back, something plaguing him and keeping him from being happy. He owed it to Sam to bring him happiness.

 

And he wasn’t going to fail.

 

+++

     When Dean woke up the next morning, he couldn't keep the smile from his face. Dean rolled out of bed and checked the clock,  which read just after seven in the morning. Sam wouldn't be up for another two hours, at least. Dean decided to make an apology breakfast for his baby brother, even though he didn't completely feel okay with forgiving and forgetting the situation Sammy had gotten himself into.

     Before that, though, Dean decided to hop in the shower. After tossing off the sweatpants he had thrown on the night before, and standing under the spray if water for a few moments, Deans thoughts began to drift to a certain blue eyes man. Before he knew it, Dean had spent nearly a half hour just standing in the shower.

     Dean didn't understand how Cas managed to sneak his way into his life so easily. But Dean didn't have many friends, so he wasn't going to push this new one of his away. At least, not now, and not on purpose.

     When Dean finally got out of the shower, he managed to create a large, delicious breakfast before Sam woke up. It was turning out to be a pretty great day already, and Dean was glad that he didn't have any classes. He lounged around for most of the day, drinking beer and trying not to look too excited about hanging out with a real friend for once. Somehow, Dean was pretty sure he didn't fool Sam one bit.

     It was a little before five when Sam knocked on the doorframe of the small family room where Dean was currently watching television.

     "Hey. I'm... Uh, I'm headed to work..."

     Dean wasn't comfortable with that, but he really didn't want to argue with Sam again, and the two jackass angels didn't seem to want to hurt him, so he just nodded.

     "I'm gonna be out with Cas for a while tonight. I'm gonna try and figure some of this mess out too, so I might be late again"

     Sam just nodded and smiled a smile that was far too smug for Deans taste and left. The moment the door was slammed shut, Dean hopped off the couch and ran into his room. When he reached his destination, the pile of clothes he had chosen the night before, he realized he was being ridiculous. He had almost an hour before he needed to pick Cas up and he was already getting ready? It was like he was a teen girl, for fucks sake!

 

      Still, Dean took extra care to look nice, standing in front of the mirror for a good twenty minutes at least. Usually, Dean was confident he looked good in anything. Many people-girls and boys alike- swooned and jumped at the chance to get in his pants.

     But Cas wasn't trying to get into his pants. At least, Dean didn't think he was. It was true that Cas must find Dean at least somewhat attractive. He did want to watch him strip, and he had called him beautiful.

     Beautiful. The thought stopped Dean in his tracks. Beautiful? There was no way. Dean definitely didn't deserve to be called beautiful. Sexy, he'll yeah. But beautiful people don't kill innocent, although somewhat horny, people. Beautiful people don't let their secrets consume them. Dean was not beautiful.

     These thoughts embedded themselves into Dean’s mind and he decided then and there that he would not become closer to Cas. He didn't deserve it.

     'Don't get closer, no closer,' Dean thought as he drove to the address that Cas had texted him the night before. But when the building came into view, and Dean could see a Cas-shaped figure waiting out front, all thoughts flew out the window. Suddenly, Dean’s heart was beating too fast, the car was too hot, too quiet. His stomach found its way into his throat and his tongue refused to be anything more than a limp, useless muscle.

     As soon as Dean slows to a stop in front of Cas, said man opens the door and slides into the car with ease. He looks so collected, and it frustrates Dean, though he doesn't know why. And when Cas looks right at him, Dean swears that he is a goner. He's going to die, drowning in an incredible blue.

     "Hello, Dean"

     And just like that, he's resurrected.

     "Hey, Cas. Ready to have your taste buds blown right out if your mouth?"

     The look of confusion on Cas's face caused Dean to break out into a fit of laughter that didn't stop until the two arrived at their destination; Wayward Son, the bar with the best burgers in town. Dean was glad when he looked over and saw Cas chuckling as well. And even as his eyebrows raised when he saw where they would be eating, Dean saw that the smile never fell from Cas's face.

                                ***

     A half hour, and one annoyingly persistent waitress later, Dean was graced with the sight of Cas biting into a burger with the most delight Dean had ever seen on a person. However, Dean knew it was time. He had been stalling long enough. Looking around nervously, Dean made sure that the bar was busy enough to cover any questions asked and answered at their table.

     "So, uh, Cas... Listen. Did those winged assholes tell you anything?"

     Cas seemed to sense the seriousness of the question before Dean even finished saying it. When Dean insulted the angels, he could see Cas flinch.

    " Uhm," Cas cleared his throat, "Not much. Just that I was 'special' and they needed to 'protect me'. They wouldn't even tell me _why_ they think I'm special or protection worthy."

    "That's it?" Dean asked. Not that he didn't believe Cas. He just wanted to make sure. It had nothing to do with wanting to know if Cas trusted him completely or not. Of course not. When Cas just nodded, Dean sighed.

     "Figures. Angels tend to be like that."

     There was an awkward beat of silence, before Cas opened his mouth, a determination in his eyes that shook Dean straight to the soul.

     "Gabriel and Ezekiel are good people. I know they lied and betrayed me, but they also became my only friends here. They truly thought they were doing the right thing."

     Dean blinked. He opened his mouth, and closed it again. He opened it once more, but decided to just nod. After all, he knew better than anyone that labels like 'angel' and 'demon' don't mean a damn thing. After a few tense moments, Dean looked at Cas and apologized.

     At first Dean was worried that they’d trail off into awkward silence now that Cas had said what he had come here to say. But conversation picked up again. Cas asked a few questions about Sammy, and Dean asked him some questions about how in the hell Cas became friends with angels. Soon they started sharing details about themselves. He found out that Cas was majoring in theology because “he had always had an interest in religion”. That he didn’t have many friends at his old college except for his teacher, a woman named Anna. With Cas he was able to just...relax. They had been talking so much they forgot about their food, with was a first for Dean.

 

     Cas had started eating once again, and Dean couldn't help but chuckle lightly at the man’s facial expression.

     "Dude. It's just a burger. Slow down!"

     "I like burgers," Cas said with a full mouth, "and this is _heaven_."

     The bout of laughter that erupted from Dean next was enough to bring stares from everyone in the room. Dean was still chuckling when their over-zealous waitress popped up again with a plastered on smile and a 'Can-I-getchya-anythin'-else?' When Dean asked for the check, and she brought it out with seven extra numbers on it, Dean snorted and crumpled it into a ball before placing it in his pocket. Dean looked up at Cas and was surprised to see a look of confusion on his face. Walking outside, he snorted.

      "What is it, man? Quit staring."

      "Oh," Cas started, looking away, "Our waitress seemed to like you very much."

     Dean snorted at that, but when Cas blushed and continued to avoid Dean’s gaze, he cleared his throat.

     "She's not really my type."

    "What is your type?"

     Cas's eyes doubled in size and his mouth dropped as soon as the question slipped out of his mouth. It was all Dean could do to stop him from babbling on about forgetting he ever asked.

     "I dunno... I've never really thought about it," Dean started, and Cas calmed down a bit. The two began to wander around the empty street, rather than go back to the car. "What about you? Only like the sleazy strippers, or are you more into the demonic type?"

     "What?" Cas furrowed his eyebrows before realization seemed to dawn on him. "Oh! No. I mean... I was only at the strip club because Gabriel suggested it..."

     "Gabriel? The one from the shop? I didn't take him for the type to get off over dudes," Dean said, ignoring the flinch his crudeness produced, "So does that make you gay? Or bi?"

     "I was kinda... Trying to figure that out."

      Ah, Dean thought, experimentation. That makes sense. It explains Castiels behavior in the club, as well as the uncomfortable look that had been in his eyes.

     "And?"

     "And, what?"

     Dean rolled his eyes. This kid...

     "Did you figure it out?"

     The rush of butterflies that burst out of Deans chest told him that he might not want to know the answer to his own question. The blush in Cas's cheeks could easily be discomfort toward being in this conversation, and Dean refused to think it was anything else. What was it he had said about getting closer to Cas?

     And yet, he was straining his ears, waiting for Cas to answer a question that should have never been asked. Those baby blues flicked back and forth between Deans face and the pavement they were passing over. Cas opened his mouth to answer and Dean used all of his willpower to keep from leaning in real close. The words they both wanted and needed to hear were nearly put out there in the open...

     When there was a soft fluttering and one of the angels from The Garrison- the taller, less chatty one- place a firm hand on Cas's shoulder.

     "Cas, you have been summoned."

     Dean _knew_ they were asshats.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please tell me if there were any confusing parts or if you have any questions or something. There's a lot of plot development in this chapter and tried not to rush all the information in there(not sure how I did). As always, please leave comments.

Cas looks around the room. It’s a little dingy, with barstools and tables and copious amounts of alcohol. Out of all the places he expected Zeke to take him he never thought it would be this. This looks like…

 

“A bar?” Dean says. “Cas is being summoned to a bar? Is your superior challenging Cas to a game of beer pong?”

 

Ezekiel gives Dean a look that would make flowers wilt. “What my superior wants is no business of a demon. You should bite your tongue and make yourself inconspicuous. Don’t forget why you’re here.”

 

It was because of Cas that Dean was here. When Zeke came to take him Dean had immediately pushed him back saying, “What do you asshats want now? Haven’t you guys messed with Cas enough?”

 

Zeke’s eyes narrowed. “I still haven’t got the full story of how you two became acquainted but what do know is that Cas is coming with me whether I have to rip you apart limb by limb.”

 

Dean chuckled. “I’d like to see you try.”

 

The tensions were reaching to a high and Cas could tell Dean and Zeke were this close to making a scene in public. Which would not be good, considering he could probably guess that supernatural fights were different than regular fights. Like in a innocent-civilians-getting-hurt kind of different.

 

“Zeke,” he said, stepping in between them. “What’s wrong? You’re not acting like yourself.”

 

Zeke sighed. “My superior wants to see you. She knows how...informed you’ve become and she thinks it’s time you and her met.”

 

“Why does that affect you?”

 

“She’ll want to know how you found out. When she finds out how irresponsible I’ve been--”

 

“I’ll come with you,” Cas said. “I’ll explain to your superior that what happened wasn’t your fault.”

 

Zeke’s lips twitched, as if suppressing a smile. “I don’t know if that will help, but I guess we will see.”

 

“Wait,” Cas said as Zeke moved to clasp a hand on his shoulder. “Dean’s coming with me.”

 

Both of them looked at him disbelieving. “Cas, it’s okay you don’t need to--”

 

Cas put a hand up to silence him. “I’ll only go if Dean comes with me. I don’t have anything to hide. Dean is a good person and you shouldn’t get in trouble for our meeting.”

  
  


“Cas,” Dean said plainly.

 

Zeke sighed again. “Cas, I really think that is a bad idea.”

 

"Either he comes with us, or we don’t go at all.”

 

Zeke sighed, and seemed to consider Cas’s words heavily. Finally, he clasped both of their shoulders. “Just relax.” he said.

 

Cas hoped that for once, things would work out as planned.

 

+++

 

“Zeke, why have you brought me to a bar?” Cas asks.

 

Tearing his eyes away from his intense staredown with Dean, Zeke explains, “Just like the coffee shop is a safe place for Gabriel and me, The Roadhouse offers protection.”

 

“What, like some angel Bat Cave?” Dean asks.

 

“No bats inhabit this bar, but yes, it is a safe haven.”

 

Cas hears footsteps. When he turns his head in their direction, he sees a blonde girl with a gun in hand.  “Hey, Ezekiel is that--”

 

When he blinks again a brunette woman in a suit is holding the blonde girl back. Behind him he hears Dean say, “Not this again.”

 

Cas turns around and there’s a sandy haired man with a knife pressed to Dean’s throat. “Ezekiel, a demon, really? Never thought you were the type to get your hands dirty.”

 

“Didn’t anyone ever tell you, Balthazar, not to make assumptions when you don’t have all the facts?”

 

“Let him go.” Cas says fiercely.

 

Balthazar smiles. “You must be Castiel.”

 

Cas nods stiffly.

“Why would a creature like you, be trying to protect a creature like this?” Balthazar said with his knife pressing even closer to Dean’s throat.

 

Cas feels a swelling rage rise up in him. “I said, let him _go_.”  

 

Balthazar’s knife clattered to the ground to the ground. He let go of Dean and backed away, coughing.

 

Cas blinked. That feeling, he’s never felt that way before. Like he was going to explode, like he couldn’t control himself.

 

Dean grabbed his shoulder. “Hey, you alright? You don’t look so good.”

 

Cas starts to feel a little faint. “I’m fine. I just…” he trails off.

 

“It’s worse than I thought,” a voice says behind him.

 

Cas turns around for the last time. Just when he thinks there’s nothing that could surprise him anymore, he sees the last person he thought he would ever see again.

 

“Professor Milton?”

 

+++

 

“Rachel, take Jophiel back upstairs.” Professor Milton-- _Anna_ \--says to the brunette angel.

 

“Come, Jo.” Rachel says.

 

“But things are just starting to get--” Cas hears the sound of wings and they’re gone.

 

Anna faces them again. “Castiel, how are you? It’s been a long time.”

 

Cas took a step back as she took a step forward. “You’re not Professor Milton.”

 

Anna smiles sadly. “Cas, I know this is can be unsettling, disorienting, and even overwhelming. But your Wall is starting to break down and--”

 

“My what?”

 

“Just listen, Castiel. I promise I’ll explain everything.”

 

She opens her mouth to begin when Balthazar interrupts her. “Have we all forgotten that there’s a demon in our presence?”

 

Cas feels Dean tense beside him. He clenches his jaw, prepared to defend Dean if need be(even though he has no idea how). Anna, however, just smiles.

 

“Patience, Balthazar. I’ll deal with that later. Right now I want to talk to Castiel alone.” she says with a pointed look at Balthazar.

 

Balthazar, to his surprise, dips his head and disappears.

 

Anna looks at Zeke with a cold look in her eyes. “Take the half-demon back to where you got him from.” she says sharply.

 

“I didn’t bring him here of my own volition,” Zeke protests.

 

“You’ve forgotten your role, brother.” Anna says remorselessly. “Now please, leave us. As I said before I want to talk to Castiel. _Alone."_

 

Ezekiel nods. “Hey wait just a goddamn second.” Dean says. “I’m not comfortable leaving--” Dean throat clicks. He clutches it looking at Anna, his eyes blazing with fury.

 

“What are you doing to him?” Cas asks fiercely.

 

Anna doesn’t respond. Zeke puts a hand on Dean’s shoulder, and they’re gone.

 

“Alone at last!” Anna says. She sits at one of the tables. “Would you like a beer, Cas? One thing I know from experience is college kids loves alcohol. Even though it leads to them make irrational decisions. I swear I will never understand humans.”

 

Cas’s face was emotionless. He was shocked to see his late professor, but he doesn’t let it faze him for long. The only reason he’s still here is because he needs answers and if Anna is the only one who can give them to him, so be it.

 

“No, thank you.” he says coolly. “Don’t reprimand Zeke for my actions. He can’t control what I do.”

 

The light in Anna’s eyes dimmers. “I know you’ve become close to Gabriel and Ezekiel, but I didn’t send them there to be your friends. No good leader is nice all the time.”

 

Cas sits down across from her. “Leader of what, Anna?”

 

Anna, thankfully, started from the beginning.

 

“For millenniums there’s been rules against your kind. Angels have few rules but one of the most important rules is not to have...relations with humans. Angels aren’t meant to be emotional beings. Our purpose is to serve God and nothing else. When we strayed from that purpose we  were punished severely. To make sure we don’t succumb to temptation only so few angels actually visit Earth. It’s a special job and not to be taken lightly. Still, some of the chosen angels do fall prey to the enchanting nature of humans. Can you guess what happens next?”

 

“They father children,” Cas answers.

 

“The term is Nephilim. Half angel, Half human, stronger than both. Relationships between angels and humans used to be tolerated but once it was discovered how destructive Nephilim can be in the wrong hands, it was against the rules to have any relationships with humans, and if you have any offspring with a human both the mother and the child would be eliminated.”

 

Cas shivered. An innocent child killed because of things they couldn’t control. “What if a female angel gets pregnant?”

 

“Angels are genderless,” she corrects him gently. “But if an angel in a female vessel gets pregnant…the angel would most likely not survive the birth. That’s why it’s more male vessels that impregnate human females.”

 

“I had stood by as Raphael, an archangel, sent countless angels to slaughter innocent children. Then Barachiel, an angel I was very close with, made the same mistake we both watched other angels make. And we both knew how it ended.

 

Cas saw the way Anna was looking at him, and then he realized. “My father? Barachiel was my father?”

 

Anna nodded. “I know you don’t remember much of him, but he loved you and your mother very much. He begged me to help hide it from the archangels and I obliged. I knew he couldn’t keep this secret forever, but I covered for him. I did wish the best for your little family, Cas, I really did.”

 

“It happened though. An angel saw Barachiel flying back to Earth and followed him. He reported back to Raphael and Raphael wasted no time sending angels to kill you and your mother. I begged them not to but no one listened to me. Before anyone could stop me I flew to your house to warn Barachiel but someone had already been there. The house reeked of demon. I found Barachiel, helping your mother up.”

 

“Anael,” he said. “If you’re here that means--”

 

“He didn’t get to finish that sentence. A group of angels descended on us. I couldn’t protect them. I couldn’t protect them, and I’ll never forgive myself for that. I could barely handle the two I was fighting, and by the time I defeated them I saw one of the angels stick an angel blade in your mother’s chest.”

 

Cas flinched. Anna continued on.

 

“He screamed and I tried to yell at him to do something but a knife went through his throat. I killed the angel who killed him swift and effortlessly, but it wasn’t enough. They were dead.”

 

Cas thought that maybe he should have told her it wasn’t her fault or comforted her somehow, but he was feeling a little numb. He had no idea how to react to the fact that it wasn’t a loose serial killer that killed his parents but a group of angels whose next target was him.

 

“After that I had had enough. I told Raphael that I wouldn’t stand for this anymore, that wasn’t going to let him keep killing Nephilim. He threatened to kill me for speaking out of turn like that. I left heaven. As it turned out, several angels agreed with me. It started somewhat of a civil war in Heaven, and soon I became the leader of a rebellion force. I even got an archangel, Gabriel, on my side. Gabriel watched over you at your aunt’s house, but other problems arose and he couldn’t spend his time watching over you. I offered to do it myself, which is how I became the professor at your first college. I thought no one could protect you better than I could. I was foolish. I had a target on my back and I was going to let my pride kill the both of us. When we got ambushed I knew I had to make some changes.”

 

Cas remembers the shaking room, the unbearable noise. Did he really believe that was an earthquake?

 

“I made some arrangements with the headmaster of Concordia, and things had calmed down enough for Gabriel to keep an eye on you occasionally. I was finally assured that you were safe. Then your Wall started to break down.”

 

“Before the police came that night I came to your room. I knew that Raphael would send more angels soon, so I put a Wall up in your body. It separated your grace from your soul, and it made hard to detect your grace, without affecting your soul. It also kept you off Raphael’s map. I knew it wouldn’t last forever but I thought…I didn’t think it would break down so soon. You’re starting to see the supernatural creatures, your powers are coming back, it won’t be too long before it breaks down completely.”

 

“What happens when the Wall breaks down?” He could already tell he wouldn’t like the answer.

 

“Once your Wall breaks down, anyone could find you. Angels, demons, anyone. And if they don’t there’s no telling what destruction you might cause on your own. Once your Wall breaks down, I’m not sure if I’ll be able to protect you.”

 

+++

 

Cas shakily stood up. “I want to go home.” he says.

 

“Actually, I think you should move in here. It’s the safest place for creatures like you, and we even have a few Nephilim. They live here, go to the local college, try to live a normal life just like you. I think you could really connect with them.”

 

“Anna, take me home.” he says firmly. “I’ll think about your offer, but please just take me home.”

 

Cas closes his eyes, feels a slight brush, and finds himself in his apartment. The first thing he does is take out his phone and make a call.

 

“Hello?” a rough voice says.

 

“Dean? I’m sorry to bother you, I just really need to talk to someone. I need to talk you.” He can’t stop his voice from sounding borderline pleading.

 

“Cas, you okay?” His worried tone warms Cas’s heart.

 

“Just..please, Dean. I can’t talk about this on the phone.”

 

“Yeah, yeah. Um, if you want you could come over to my apartment.”

 

For one quick moment, Cas remembers that he has seen Dean with his pupils blown with arousal, felt him grind down on his cock. He suppresses those memories, especially since this is a completely inappropriate to think about that.

 

“That would fine. Thank you, Dean.”

 

“No problem man. You sound like you need to talk.”

 

Cas is already halfway out the door as Dean tells him his address.

 

+++

 

Abaddon takes off the false bottom from her desk drawer. She then takes out a medium sized dagger. She grips the cool handle and inspects the sigils engraved into the blade. This dagger is magnificent, but as always the shine is dull.

 

Abaddon screams and throws it across the room. It’s not fair, she thinks.

 

She’s traveled around the world, possessed body after body, and got her hands so dirty from torture that not even holy water could clean them, all for this dagger. At first she heard thought it was a myth, a dagger that not only kills Nephilim, but shines blue when one is near. Her confidante told her that there was a university here that has a large mass of supernatural creatures. So she decided to bring some of her most loyal demons, start up a strip club, and feast on the delectable human souls while keeping an eye out for any Nephilim that may happen to wander around here. Once in a while she’d take a business trip and travel around with the dagger hoping that it might shine blue.

 

It has yet to happen.

 

Abaddon throws all the stuff off her desk and anything breakable is thrown against the wall. It’s only when she picks up her arm to throw another thing that something catches her eye. She walks around her desk and raises a hand to clear the rubble off the dagger. She picks it up and holds it to the light.

 

It’s faint but it shines blue.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The point of a schedule is to stick to it I know...Schoolwork and writer's block has really been crushing Bee and I so please find it in your hearts to forgive us for the lateness! Things are going to start heating up soon...

Sam Winchester’s life was anything but normal. As a half-demon, life was bound to be a bit crazy, but half-demon brothers? Well, a normal life was a lost cause. But that didn’t mean Sam didn’t want one. Going to college, making friends, getting a job, making a family. Simple things that regular humans took for granted, Sam wanted them all. College was the first step, and so far it was great. Friends were a bit harder, seeing as demons were generally loners, but Sam found a way around that.

He was a huge, very awkward man, but no one said he wasn’t friendly. As a child, people generally avoided his sparkly grins and shiny eyes. As an adult, things weren’t much better, but at least his smiles had faded into half-grins. And college had provided other not-so-normal people that Sam could get along with. He remembers meeting his first and best friend, Kevin, like it was yesterday.

Sam had just finished unpacking all of his boxes (and most of Dean’s too) in his new home, and had decided to take a walk around his new neighborhood. It was a fairly small town, so it wasn’t long before Sam stumbled upon the local library. Being the lover of knowledge (cough cough nerd cough cough) that he was, Sam couldn’t not go in.

Ignoring the obnoxious chime from the bell tied to the door, Sam looked around the room. Excluding himself and the lazy librarians, there was a grand total of two people inside. And one was an older man snoring loudly in a corner. After one particularly loud snore, Sam scoffed and shook his head. The other patron looked up at the foreign noise, and stared unabashedly at Sam. Feeling the stare on his back, Sam turned around and caught the eye of the other guy. Neither one looked away.

 

Feeling a bit uncomfortable, Sam threw on a half smile and walked over to the boy. He was Asian, with black spiked hair, and obvious bags under his eyes as if he hadn’t slept in days. Books surrounded him, and any space not taken up by reading materials was occupied with countless sheets of paper. When Sam got to the table, he reached out a hand for the other to shake.

“Hi. I’m Sam. Sam Winchester. Your buddy over there seems to be enjoying the book selection.”

“Kevin Tran,” the boy said, taking the offered hand, “That’s just Snoring Sampson. You can ignore him. I always do. I don’t recognize you, are you new in town? What brings you here?”

“Yeah, I just moved in. College. I go to CU. Well, I will.”

“Huh, same. Freshman?” When Sam nodded, Kevin smiled a bit. “Same. Maybe we’ll get some of the same classes.”

Sam smiled wide, and for the next twenty minutes they compared their interests and majors. Kevin was attending college on a scholarship, one he seemed to be very proud of. He had gone to an “Advanced” high school, and this college had been his number one choice. Apparently, Kevin’s mother was upset that her baby boy left her to move halfway across the country, but Kevin just had to attend THIS school. Sam didn’t know why CU was so important, but he chose to not question it. Kevin was the first one in a long time to talk to him so normally, after all.

“So, you’re a… language major?”

“Kinda… Enochian is a particularly difficult language to master.” Kevin answered, seeming proud.

“Enochian… I’ve heard of that, somewhere… You say it’s hard to translate?”

“More like impossible. But what about you, Sam? What are you?”

“I… I haven’t really decided yet.”

“Ah, you’re one of those types, huh.” The way Kevin said this made Sam cringe. Suddenly, he felt quite defensive.

“What do you mean by that?” Kevin's pointed look was enough to tell Sam exactly what. “Hey, I have plenty of ideas, it’s just…. I have never felt like I can do what I want.”

“Why? Because you aren’t motivated or because you’re a half-demon?”

And that was how Sam learned Kevin was a Prophet. Though, he should have known, really. What with the Enochian, language of the angels, the way he stared when Sam first entered the room, even the heavy bags under his eyes should have been a clue. Who could sleep when you have such a gift? Even to this day, Sam feels embarrassed to have missed it all. Still, Kevin was nice enough about it. He apologized for surprising Sam, and continued to rant about how “Even demons can do some good, every once in a while.” and that “I only spoke to you since you seem pure enough.”

After meeting Kevin, Sam gained a few more friends, and became the most popular demon on campus. Not that that was difficult. A demon with any friends was rare. Kevin was there when Sam needed a study buddy, and Sam always covered for Kev when he overslept. (The poor guy spent every waking hour pouring over some stupid tablet with scribbles on it.) For the first time, Sam felt really normal.

Which, ironically enough, was the exact opposite of how he was feeling now. Perhaps that was why he had headed to Kevin’s place. To try and regain some sort of normalcy to his life. Things seemed to be crumbling all around him. Ever since Dean met Cas, Sam’s ‘normal’ life had been anything but. Now Ezekiel and Gabriel acted strangely around him, Dean disappeared for hours on end, and Sam often felt as if he was being watched. Not that Sam disliked Cas, though he has yet to speak to him. He already knew that Dean was smitten, if not fully blown in love.

It had been a while since Dean smiled so happily anyway. But Sam was tired of calling his brother and getting no answer. He had no clue what was going on in his own brothers life. Then again, apparently even before Cas, Sam had no clue. A stripper? Really? What was that about? Best not to ask, Sam thought. Still, he was curious.

If there was one thing Sam didn’t like, it was being left in the dark. If he couldn’t understand something, he would study it until he did. But it’s not like he could study his brother. That would be creepy, and probably wouldn’t get him anywhere anyway. As he knocked on Kevin’s door, he just hoped his friend could offer some sort of… anything, really. Help, advice, even just an open minded confidant. Unfortunately, as soon as the door was opened, Sam knew it was hopeless.

“Oh, hey Sam.” Kevin said, obviously in a rush. This meant that Kevin was in the middle of an ‘epic breakthrough’. Sam knew the signs well enough. Hyped up as if he drank pure caffeine, dark bags under the eyes. All that was missing was the-

“I thought you had work this morning.”

Complete loss of time and reason. Yep, definitely an Enochian breakthrough.

“It’s nighttime, I only work at night, and it’s my day off. Which you’d remember if you kept track of time. When was the last time you slept?”

“Who has time for sleep?”

That was what Sam was afraid of. After convincing Kevin to shower and sleep at least an hour, Sam found himself walking home with absolutely nothing done to make him feel better. At least Kevin managed to be reliable in one way; mothering Kevin was a fairly normal event after all. Still, when Sam arrived home to find Dean back and pacing around, he knew he had to have a serious chat.

Before he could even get a word out, however, Dean turned to him and held up a hand.

“Not quite yet, Sammy. I am not really in the mood to have a sappy, cliche heart to heart. Give me a little time to adjust to being manhandled by frikken angels.”

As if to punctuate this point, Ezekiel was standing in the corner of the room, looking rather upset himself. Sam nodded to Dean, who walked into his room, and walked over to Zeke.

“Hey. What’s going on?” Ezekiel just looked up at Sam and sighed, shaking his head. This despondent attitude worried Sam. “What’s wrong, Zeke?”

“Nothing. I must get going. Gabriel will be needing me at the Garrison.”

Zeke only walked a few feet before Sam grabbed his arm tightly.

“Ezekiel, I can tell when something is bothering you. You can tell me, you know?” Zeke looked like he had been punched in the stomach. “Or maybe you can’t… It’s because I’m a demon, isn’t it? I can’t even listen to my friend’s problems because of my dirty soul. That is just… Great. What a crappy person I am.”

As Sam continued to rant, Ezekiel held up his hand, eyes wide, silencing him.

“Sam, it has nothing to do with you. This is the only reason I did not wish to tell you. I did not wish for you to be involved. It has nothing to do with...your lineage.”

“Then tell me. You look like you’re having a bad time. You're allowed to lean on your friends.”

“Of course,” Zeke nodded, before sighing, “But not here.”

Glancing at Dean’s closed door, Sam nodded.

“Right. Of course. We can talk on the way to The Garrison.”

So off they went. Yet another walk, but at least this time Sam had some good company. And now he was doing something helpful.

“So… What’s bothering you, Zeke?”

Just like that, Ezekiel took a deep breath and let everything out.

“I was sent to earth by my superior, an angel named Anael. She believed that Gabriel needed help with his assignment, to protect a Nephilim. Castiel. The one that was with your brother.” Sam nodded, but it seemed as if Ezekiel was no longer paying any attention. “At first, everything was fine. It was… difficult, to say the least, to become accustomed to humans, and their odd behaviors and habits. Yet, I managed.”

“And then your brother got involved. When he entered the picture, things changed. They changed for the worse, at least in my opinion. My brother and I were no longer able to protect Castiel from the dangers of this town. It is as if Castiel himself does not want to be protected. When he learned of our true identities… he became particularly upset. Angry. I do not understand. We only wished to be helpful. Now…” Ezekiel began to trail off, but Sam was having none of that. This was what was really bothering Zeke, and Sam planned to find out what it was.

“Now, what? You can trust me, Ezekiel.” Another sigh from the angel.

“Now I worry I am not fit for such an important and honored job.”

Ah. So he was having confidence issues. He tried, he really did, but Sam couldn’t help but let a smile slip out. He could tell Ezekiel was slightly offended, but Sam just patted his back.

“You think you’re not worthy? Zeke, you are the most responsible guy I know. It’s almost impossible to keep a guy in check all the time. Especially a college guy. Besides, I know my brother, and he can be a bad influence. I don’t think anyone believes that anything Cas did-or will do- is your fault. This was bound to happen eventually.” The pair was nearing The Garrison, and Sam began to slow his pace. “On the other hand, Dean really isn’t a bad guy. He makes stupid choices, sure, but he has looked after me my whole life. He wouldn’t do anything to purposefully harm Cas.”

Ezekiel nodded, and let out a big sigh. “Yes, of course. I didn’t mean to offend. And… Thanks, Sam. It felt nice to get this off my chest, so to speak.”

“No problem,” Sam smiled, “That’s what friends are for. Anytime you need to talk, I’m here. But for now, I gotta go back home. My brother and I have a lot to talk about.”

Something almost sorrowful passed over Zeke’s eyes, but Sam ignored it. They said their goodbyes, and Sam was on his way.

+++

When Sam arrived home, Dean was still pacing back and forth. A sure sign that he was nervous. Which could only mean… Sam sighed to himself.

“When’s he gonna be here?” Dean jumped and turned to look at Sam, eyes looking guilty.

“Soon. I’m really sorry, I swear we’ll talk about this as soon as he arrives.”

“Yeah. Okay. Right, that won’t be awkward or anything.” Dean didn’t have time to reply, because the doorbell rang, and he sprung to answer it. Sam would have been amused by how Dean took a deep breath, straightened out his clothing, and plastered on a grin, if he hadn’t been so irritated. The door opened, and a disheveled, upset looking Castiel walked in. He said his hello’s to Dean, and his eyes fell to Sam.

Well, technically, Cas hadn’t done anything wrong, so Sam couldn’t be upset with him. Instead, he nodded his welcome curtly.Cas nodded back, while Dean blabbered on about welcoming him into their humble abode. The grin Dean provided when Cas smiled weakly in his direction only proved Sam’s original thoughts about his brother’s feelings. At this point, Sam’s irritation had faded to a faint annoyance, one that Sam felt whenever Dean did anything stupid. Which was often.

“So, uh, Cas. Nice to see you again. Let me formally introduce myself, I’m Dean’s brother, Sam.”

“It’s very nice to meet you, Sam. Well, officially at least.” One awkward handshake later, the trio went into the living room. Sam sat down in the lounge chair across from the sofa, which, conveniently, was where the lovebirds chose to sit. Sam addressed Cas once again.

“Well, Cas, Dean and I were going to have a brotherly chat about our life, but with you here, it might make things a little awkward.” After contemplating for a few moments, Sam added, “But, at the same time, you could answer some of our questions, so, we’re gonna do it anyway!”

Ignoring the uncomfortable looks on both the faces across from him, Sam thought about how to start this conversation. There were so many loose ends, so many details he didn’t know, he was beginning to feel overwhelmed. As if he could sense this, Dean cleared his throat and began to speak.

“So, uh, Sammy…” Sam looked at his brother, eyebrows raised. Dean hated talks like these, and never started them. “I think it’s time you...knew the truth about my job. My real job.”

+++

“Let me get this straight.” Sam says a half hour later, “You kill people, steal their souls and sell them for some quick cash?” When Dean didn’t defend himself, Sam jumped up and began to pace. “Dean, that is… it’s.. it’s so bad I can’t even look at you! It’s not just bad, it’s _evil_."

**  
  
**

“I know, Sammy…”

“You _know?_  If you know then why do you do it?!” At this point Sam had raised his voice. Dean retaliated by raising his own voice as well.

“I did it because I wanted you to live a normal life, Sammy! Screw me, I’m a lost cause, but you deserve better!” Sam stopped and looked at Dean with what he hoped was a menacing glare.

“Don’t you put this on me, Dean. I did not ask for this! Living a hard life is better than getting by on dirty money! I’d have preferred to not go to college than for you to do this!"

**  
  
**

“Yeah, well, I wouldn’t! Besides,” Dean’s voice dropped to a low mumble, “It’s not like you did anything wrong. This is all on me.”

Sam sighed and ran a hand through his hair. This idiot! He really doesn’t get it!

“Dean, you always sacrifice yourself for me. Don’t you get it, that doesn’t make me happy!” Another sigh, and a glance at Cas, who looked uncomfortable to be stuck in between the two brothers, caused Sam to switch tracks. At least for now. “What about you? How did you get involved in this?”

“U-uh…” Cas stuttered, not expecting to be addressed. Not really waiting for a reply, Sam cut off anything Cas could have even said.

“I know you go to my college, and that you must be the reason Gabe and Zeke didn’t let me work in the mornings, and that you met Dean at his… job… But I don’t get why you need protection. What makes you so important?”

Finally taking a breath, Sam sat down in his seat once more, took a look at the uncomfortable man that managed to worm his way into every aspect of Sam’s life, and waited for an answer.

“I just learned recently… Today, in fact… That I am what they call a Nephilim.”

“Nephilim?” Sam wondered aloud. “Actually… that makes perfect sense. You definitely are not a human… but you’re far more powerful than any demon I’ve met… How did you not know this? I’d have figured the angels would want to use you to win the war between God’s warriors and Hell’s minions.”

Dean and Cas shared a look, and Sam realized he probably stumbled upon some uncomfortable topic. Normally, he would stutter out an apology, but today was no normal day. Not that Sam believed he’d have a normal day ever again. Instead, he just waited for an explanation.

“Apparently,, the angels are currently involved in two wars.” Sam’s face contorted into a confused expression, but Cas just continued. “There is some sort of an “Angelic Civil War” going on between those that want to protect me… and those that want me dead.”

“Some believe Nephilim are too powerful, or whatever.” Dean contributed. “Course, Cas did nothing wrong. Just ‘cause some punk angel got it on with a human doesn’t give them the right to hunt their children.”

Sam definitely agreed with that. Cas seemed like a nice guy, and no one deserves crap for what their parents did. He was about to agree with Dean when Cas began to speak again.

“Ezekiel and Gabriel were sent to protect me, in any way possible. My… powers had been blocked, but it seems that the wall keeping them back is breaking.” Sam chose to ignore the blatant oh-so-that’s-what-that-was look on Dean’s face. For now, at least.

“So basically, Dean has gotten himself in a position where he wants to help the angels, but has to avoid his boss and coworkers, as well as the angels he is trying to help.”

“Uh, yeah, that about sums it up. Thanks, Sammy.” Dean says sarcastically.

“Great.” Sam says, wondering, not for the first time, when someone would put both the angels and the demons in their place.

+++

Meg Masters felt like she didn’t belong anywhere. She was a demon that didn’t particularly care about taking over the world, so long as she could live life the way she pleased, but she still acted like she did. She didn’t hate humans, or any other being, but she still avoided and looked down upon them. She said that she didn’t want friends, didn’t them, but she still felt lonely.

Then again, she wasn’t even really Meg Masters. She was a demon that had possessed poor little Meg years before, and now she didn’t know where her original mind stopped, and Meg’s began.She had even forgotten her original name, just identifying as Meg Masters every time she possessed someone new. All in all, Meg was a failure at being evil, even worse at being good, and totally and completely out of place in her position at Hell’s Angels.

The closest thing Meg had ever done to help anybody was getting Dean Winchester his job, and even that can’t be considered good. Hell, his soul was becoming darker by the day, and it was really all Meg’s fault. Yet, she didn’t truly regret it. After all, all she wanted was to feel connected to someone in any way. Like Dean and his brother.

Yes, Meg knew about Sam Winchester. With a school as small as Concordia, it’s hard not to know everyone. Perhaps the real best thing she has ever done for anyone was keep that secret. Meg could hide behind the fact that she could use it as leverage later, but in truth she was slightly jealous, and slightly impressed with their close relationship. The brothers argued, but were close, and Sam even managed to overcome the demon stereotype of being loners.

When Meg caught Dean talking to what should be a dead man at school, she thought maybe she could keep yet another secret for the boys. Clarence

rather cute, and innocent in an endearing way. And if Dean was killed over something as trivial as getting attached to a client, how boring would that be? So when Abaddon called Meg into her office the next day at work, Meg chose to be completely oblivious, and just go along with whatever she was told to do.

Because, if there was one place Meg would like to belong to, a place where she could fit in, she was sure it would be with those Winchesters, in any crazy scheme they got themselves caught up in.

 


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy shit I totally forgot to put this chapter up on AO3. Sorry about that. I was so pumped about finishing the chapter that I wanted to put it up immediately(even though I finished around 11 or midnight)but it's easier to put it up on fanfiction.net so I did that first and made a mental note to put it up on here too, then forgot. Sorry!

Cas is a ticking time bomb. That’s all he got out of his last conversation with Anna. Anna tried many methods to put the Wall in his body back up, but none worked.

 

“I think all these years of unused grace have made it stronger. It won’t let itself be suppressed this time.” Anna had said after the last failed attempt.

 

“What do I now?” Cas asked. He didn’t really know how to feel about his Wall breaking down. He’s still a little upset about being lied to about what he is, slightly excited to finally see what’s been in front the whole time, and above all scared. If Anna, an angel of _God_ can’t protect him, then it’s basically like he’s being condemned to death.

 

“Well, I think you should move into the Roadhouse. You could live free of charge, with your own kind. You could even make some money as a bartender.” Anna said.

 

But Cas didn’t want to move into the Roadhouse. He had spent some time with the other Nephilim and liked them well enough, but he had friends back home that he would miss.

 

Speaking of friends, Cas’s phone rang, shaking him back into reality. He looks at the screen and feel the edges of his mouth turn up. It’s Dean.

 

His friendship with Dean happened unexpectedly, and he still feels surprised whenever Dean calls. He never thought someone as cool as Dean would want to hang out with someone like him. Dean literally went from being his stripper(a fact neither of them talk about)to the only person Cas trusts with his innermost feelings. He could never express how much he appreciated Dean. Without him to confide in he’s sure he would’ve lost his mind by now from the fear and paranoia.

 

“Hey, Cas. Anna say anything new?” he asked.

 

“There’s nothing she can do. No matter what she does she can’t stop my Wall from breaking down. All I can do it just...wait.” Cas has resigned himself with his fate. He has no idea what will happen once the barrier between his world and the supernatural world is taken down, but all he can do is wait.”

 

“So,what, Anna is all fucking powerful angel and she can’t do a damn thing to protect you? She can’t use some of her angel mojo to hide you or _something?”_ Dean’s voice raises slightly on the last word.

 

Cas is shocked and touched by Dean’s concern. “Dean, it’s okay.”

 

“No, Cas, it’s not okay.” Dean sighs in frustration. “So, there’s really nothing Anna can do?”

 

“She did suggest that I--that I move to the Roadhouse.”

Silence. “You mean the bar that’s in the middle of fucking nowhere?”

 

“Yes.”

 

There’s a part of Cas that wants Dean to tell him not to go, to ask him to stay. He ignores it.

 

“Ezekiel and Gabriel do a good enough job watching over you. And you’ve--you’ve got me. And Sam. I don’t think there’s any reason to move to the Roadhouse.”

 

Cas’s heart feels light. “Yeah, I guess you’re right.”

 

There’s more silence, but it feels more comfortable. “Alright, no more Wall talk. I’m not doing anything right now. Wanna come over?” Dean asks.

 

Cas blushes. His heart beats a little faster and for a minute he stops breathing. It’s obvious Dean only meant that in a friendly, platonic way so why is he reacting like this?

 

Dean stutters, “T--To watch a movie or something. How about The Godfather? Everyone loves The Godfather.”

 

“I’ve actually never seen that,” Cas says. “Is it good?”

 

“Is it g--Cas, it’s one of the best movies of all time. There’s guns, action, the Italian Mafia and...you just have to come and watch it.

 

Cas smiles. “Okay, I will.”

 

+++

 

Cas locks the door and and sets off to Dean’s apartment. He doesn’t mind walking there, because walks help him think. And he has a lot to think about.

 

Cas has never been one to hide his feelings. So there’s no point in pretending that what he feels for Dean is purely platonic. It’s not, and the more he tries to ignore it the worse it gets. When he first met Dean he found him attractive, sure, but there was this troubled look in Dean’s eyes that made Cas want to get to know him. To help him and relieve of whatever is causing him to look like that. It was a strange feeling, an urge he never felt for anyone before. He couldn’t get Dean out of his head.

 

Then he and Dean started to become friends. They would hang out, talk, just _listen_ to each other. There was something about Dean that made him want to confess his secrets and reveal things that he had kept locked away in his heart for years. Somehow, Dean had carved himself a place _in_ Castiel, and now Cas doesn’t know what he’d do without him. Dean has such a hold on him others have noticed.

 

“You know, I haven’t said anything because the situation seems harmless, but I think you should watch yourself around Dean.” said Gabriel one day.

 

 

“What do you mean?” he asked.

 

“I mean, the only reason we let him near you is because Sam says he has no malicious intentions and we trust Sam. However, our trust in Sam is only to a certain extent, because he’s half-demon. You should treat Dean the same.”

 

“I don’t understand what you’re saying,” Cas said, suddenly stiff.

 

“Just because Dean has a pretty face and nice lips, don’t go trusting him with too much. If he betrays you later on not only is it going to hurt, it might end up getting you killed. Be wary of him. And for the love of God, don’t fall in love with him.

 

“Dean would never betray me,” Cas’s voice was tight and he clenched his fists. “He could have killed me or given me up to Abaddon but he hasn’t. He risked his life to save me, so I know he won’t betray me.”

 

“Funny thing about demons, Cas, they always have an agenda.”

 

“Then it’s a good thing Dean is only _half_ -demon.”

 

Gabriel shook his head and sighed. “All I’m saying is be careful.”

 

Cas turned away. “You don’t have to worry about me. For the record, there’s nothing going on between me and Dean. We’re just friends.”

 

Gabe fixed him with a piercing gaze. “I hope you have the strength to keep it that way.”

 

Even though Cas said that, he can’t the feelings he gets from just simply being around Dean, soaking up his presence. He tries to be wary of Dean, but the only thing he can pick up from Dean is his innate desire to protect those closest to him, Cas included. He’s a half-demon, and yet Cas can sense nothing bad about him. Gabriel has a point, though. If he doesn’t watch himself, he’ll end up falling in love with Dean. That can’t happen.

 

Cas is a bomb. He’s afraid that if he detonates Dean will get caught in the crossfire, and he’ll never forgive himself. Whenever Cas tries to ask him what would happen if Abaddon found out that he let a customer survive, he either changes the subject or brushes him off. Now, he knows that Dean has a habit of deflecting painful truths. It’s best for Dean if they don’t get more attached. That way, when the inevitable end comes for Cas, it won’t be hard to take.

 

He’s surprised to find himself at Dean’s door already. He sees the curtains flutter, and before he can knock, the door swings open.

 

“What took you so long? I was scared that a demon kidnapped you on the way here.” Dean says this with a smile, but it doesn’t reach his eyes.

 

“Sorry, I spaced out a little bit.”

 

Dean steps aside to let him in. “Right now, we’re going to forget about everything except the Corleone family, alright?”

 

Cas grins. “Of course.”

 

Cas says he’ll try to keep himself unattached, and yet he finds himself sitting on Dean’s dingy couch, a little closer to him than he thought. _Gabriel is right,_ he thinks. _I am weak._

 

Dean has this way of making him forget about his problems, about everything, without even trying. It’s hard to resist.

 

+++

 

Around the time Michael shoots the police captain, Dean pauses the movie.

 

“What’s wrong?” Cas asks. Dean has this serious look on his face, unlike the playful one he had when he mouthed the words, “Luca Brasi sleeps with the fishes.”

 

“Cas, I know things seem bad now--”

 

“I thought we weren’t going to talk about it.”

 

“I know, but I just need you understand that I’m here for you. Demon, angel, I don’t care. Abaddon will have to kill me first before I let her take you.”

 

If he thought he was weak before, it’s nothing compared to the pull Dean’s words have on him. He grabs Dean’s wrist. “Dean, listen to me. I don’t want you or anyone else getting hurt because of me. Whatever happens, I want to face the consequences _alone._ ”

 

“Cas, I tried that “go it alone” strategy and it never works! You need someone looking out for you, making sure you don’t go off on your own and do some stupid shit. I just want you to know that I’m here for you, Cas, and I won’t let any assholes take you away from me.”

 

Dean’s eyes widen when he finishes his sentence. Something in Cas snaps.

 

 _“Dean,”_ Suddenly he and Dean are much closer than he thought. The weight of desire is more than he can resist, even if he truly wanted to.

 

“Cas I--” Dean starts. His eyes flick to Cas’s lips, and he leans in. Cas’s body moves without his permission, and he’s leaning in too. _I have to stop. If we kiss I’ll-_

 

A loud knock on the door rips them out of their reverie. Dean and Cas both freeze, staring at each other. The person on the other side of the door knocks again, even louder. Dean sighs in frustration and gets up.

 

“That’s probably Sam. Dumbass must’ve forgot his keys,” Dean says. He makes his way to the door.

 

 _Dean and I were about to kiss,_ Cas thinks. _Dean was going to kiss me and I was going to let him. We were going to--_

 

 Cas’s thoughts are interrupted by Dean’s voice, which sounds irritated. He mumbles something, and Cas is surprised to hear a female voice. He walks over to the door and is surprised to see who it is.

 

She smirks, looking devilish. “Hello, Clarence. As I thought, you should be dead.”

 

It was Meg, the stripper from Hell’s Angels.

 

+++

 

Dean puts an arm in front of him. “Okay, so he’s alive. If you’re going to report me then report me but I’m not letting you take him.”

 

“Calm down, Lover Boy. I’m not here to take him, I’m here to warn you. Surprisingly, I’m on your side.”

 

Dean chuckled dryly. “Right. Good, innocent, saintly Meg wants to help me protect Cas from Abaddon. Next, we’ll head down to the soup kitchen to serve those in need.”

 

“That’s very funny, Righteous, but it’s obvious you need me. Abaddon trusts me more than you, and I’m with whoever’s trying to take Abaddon down.”

 

“We’re not trying to take down Abaddon. We’re already up to our asses in angels we don’t need to deal with demons too.”

 

“You don’t really have a choice. Abaddon _knows._ ”

 

Dean’s skin turns pale. “What?” he says softly.

 

“What do you mean ‘she knows’?” Cas asks. “Dean?” he looks at Dean questioningly. Dean’s face is ashen, and his face looks panicked.

 

“You think your boyfriend is the first to try something stupid like this?” Meg asks Cas, “He’s not, and punishment gets harsher every time someone does it.” She looks at Dean. “You can’t run away from this, Dean. When Abaddon finds you she won’t just torture you, she’ll tear you apart over and over again. She loves making examples out of people.”

 

Now Cas understands. It makes sense, really. Abaddon can’t afford to have kind, conscionable people on her staff. If one “saved” person makes it to the police, her business is ruined. So she makes the punishment so daunting, so agonizing, no one would ever attempt it. Now he understands the look on Dean’s face.

 

Cas is surprised to hear how strong his voice sounds despite the revelation. “You’re sure Abaddon knows?”

 

“She called me into her office and asked about you. She had files on her desk with logs of who entered and whose bodies went to the incinerator. Abaddon is, if anything, organized. I told her I didn’t know anything about the client who was logged coming in, but never logged at the incinerator. I _lied_ to Abaddon. That alone should tell you I’m on your side.”

 

“Since when do you want to kill Abaddon so much?” Dean finally spoke up. “You’ve always been Team Abaddon.”

 

“You mean I never talked conspiracy theories with those idiots at the back of the clubs?Just because I’m not vocal about my dislike for Abaddon doesn’t mean I like her. I’ve just waited for the right moment to strike. Now seems like a good time.”

 

“So what, we’re your bodyguards? Sorry, Meg, but we’re going to have to say thanks but no--”

 

“There’s one big reason I want her dead and I know you’re going to help me. I’ll respect anyone who writes my checks, but I don’t want Abaddon ruling the world. If someone doesn’t stop her, she’ll find the one soul she needs, and then the Apocalypse really will come to pass.”

 

“The souls? What about the souls?” Cas asks.

 

Meg smiles long and wide, and for the first time a chord of fear strikes inside of him.

 

“You don’t know?”

 

+++

 

 

Zeke is making coffee. He and Sam just got off their shift, so he decided to make some coffee to celebrate finally getting off work. Zeke wishes that were his only motive, but it’s not. He wants to get to know Sam. Looking into Sam’s soul, he can see that he’s a truly good person inside. He’s shackled by his demonhood sure, but there’s something that’s making him truly unhappy. Sam has helped him and Gabriel immensely, so it’s only right that he should return the favor.

 

For some reason, no matter how much he thought this, it felt like a lie.

 

Zeke heard the low murmur of Sam’s voice in the back room. If he’s going to make Sam happy, he’s got to gather some internal information, right?

 

At least, that’s what he tells himself to quell the guilt that stirs inside him as he uses his angelic powers to make out Sam’s words.

 

“What? Dean, that’s crazy. Who told you this?”

 

Ezekiel hears Dean’s low murmur through Sam’s phone.

 

“So, you’re the trusting the word of a stripper? I mean, I know you’re a stripper but you’re not a _stripper--”_

 

Dean’s voice raises slightly.

 

“That’s not my point! My point is, I don’t think we should trust her. How do you she doesn’t work for your boss and is feeding you lies? Listen, we’ll talk about this when I get home okay?”

 

Dean grumbles something.

 

“You don’t mind if I tell Zeke about this, do you? Unlike Meg, I _know_ we can trust him.”

 

Dean starts to say something but Sam cuts him off.

 

“Angels aren’t as big as douchebags as you think, Dean. Some of them...some of them are really cool.”

 

Zeke can feel himself warming from Sam’s words. Knowing that Sam trusts him and finds him more enjoyable than his brothers and sisters makes his Grace light up and he smiles. This is how Zeke knows he’s been on Earth too long. He’s been experience many emotions lately, and right now he feels a little embarrassed at how happy Sam’s words make him.

 

“Zeke? Why are you smiling like a madman?” Sam says.

 

“Oh, it’s nothing. Do you still want some coffee?” Zeke grabs two cups.

 

Sam sighs and walks around the counter to sink into the stools in front. “Sure, I’d love some.”

 

Sam and Zeke silently sips their coffee for a few minutes. Then Zeke asks, “You were in the back room a while. Is everything okay?”

 

Sam looks off to the side. “I don’t know. Something big may or may not be happening, and until I know for sure I can’t tell you.”

 

“Sam, I’m worried about you.” Ezekiel says, making Sam turn his head towards him. “If you get too involved with whatever’s going on in the angel or demon world, there’s a chance you’ll end get up getting hurt. I don’t want that happen.”

 

Sam smiles, and it makes Zeke’s heart beat faster and he feels his face get warmer. What is this feeling?

 

“Don’t worry about me, Zeke. I’ll be fine.” He looks down. “It’s Dean and Cas I’m worried about.”


End file.
